
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/701351.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Choose_Not_To_Use_Archive_Warnings, Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Rape/
      Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      A_Song_of_Ice_and_Fire_-_George_R._R._Martin, Game_of_Thrones_(TV)
  Relationship:
      Sandor_Clegane/Sansa_Stark
  Character:
      Sansa_Stark, Sandor_Clegane
  Stats:
      Published: 2013-02-27 Completed: 2013-05-11 Chapters: 20/20 Words: 43792
****** The Cave ******
by AftinBrook
Summary
     Sandor Clegane takes Sansa Stark away from King's Landing, protecting
     her from anything and anyone including himself.
***** The Getaway *****
The Cave
Chapter 1
The Getaway
The night sky was alight with shades of dancing green. Sansa’s heart was racing
along with the almost musical clashing of the swords outside.
“No one would hurt you again or I’d kill them!” The large man with black as
raven’s hair and a scar that marred the entire right side of his face said in a
voice so deep it seemed to shake the walls around them.
Sansa wasn’t so small for a girl of her age but next to this beast of a man she
looked like a little frightened child, which she felt like in this moment. Long
red hair flowed down her back in loose curls, slender hips, still developing
breasts and arms and legs that could pass as toothpicks compared to this man’s
rippling muscled limbs, even without the steel layer of armor that seemed to
cover nearly his entire body.
She trembled at his words but had to consider his offer before making such an
irrevocable decision. To stay in King’s Landing even if they weren’t under
attack from the Baratheons was a great risk to her.
If Joffrey won tonight not only was she running out of time before she would
have to marry the evil boy who killed her father but her own body had recently
betrayed her and she was out of time as far as keeping her maidenhead.
If Stannis won she had no guarantee that she wouldn’t be raped and killed as
Queen Cersei informed her only hours before. But to trust this man in front of
her with not just her future but her life wasn’t exactly easy, he hadn’t made
it easy! One day he was saving her from nearly being raped during the bread
riot and the next he was spewing his hateful beliefs at her and laughing in her
face as if she were a fool for believing in anything good.
Her mind drifted back to that day the riot happened when he was the only one
brave enough to come looking for her after four men had her cornered, pinned to
the cold hard ground, her dress torn and more then one ready to rape her.
Sandor Clegane or the Hound as everyone here called him had been the only one
that came for her, protected her and killed for her.
She still remembered him picking her up off the ground after killing those
horrible men and holding her close as she trembled and cried and for the first
time since she watched her father’s head being cut off had a moment of feeling
safe. It seemed ridiculous looking back on it. Four men had just nearly raped
her and yet she hadn’t felt as safe as she did in Sandor’s arms since leaving
her old home in Winterfell. Gods just thinking of her old home had tears
springing to her eyes.
“You’ll take me home?” She asked taking a step closer to him.
“Aye, I’ll take you home little bird.”
Wasting no time Sansa went to the trunk at the foot of her bed and grabbed her
bags, stuffing them with her gowns from Winterfell. They’d be a little small on
her as she has grown since coming to King’s Landing but they were warmer and
would help her to blend in with the common folk better. She left all the pretty
silk gowns behind without a second thought.
After collecting her most sensible shoes, her softest slippers, most
comfortable smallclothes and favorite nightdress she only had her precious doll
that her father had given her right before his death and the Tully book her
mother had given her on her last day at Winterfell. They were the only things
she had of her parents, she thought sadly before shaking herself and refocusing
on the task at hand. After collecting both into the two bags she had gathered
she still felt as if she were forgetting something but couldn’t think of
anything else that she would need.
“Alright, I’m ready!” She said in a quavering voice as she stepped closer to
the big man who had been patiently waiting by the door. Just as he was about to
unbar it and open it Sansa thought of something else that might come in handy
for them.
“Wait!” She exclaimed before dashing to her dressing table and grabbing all her
jewels, box and all, and quickly stuffing it into her bag. As an after thought
she grabbed her brush and comb that were right next to where her jewelry box
had been.
“Okay, now I’m ready!” She stated proud that her voice sounded stronger and
firmer then the last time she’d proclaimed it.
“Stay behind me and close at all times little bird.” The Hound stated before
pushing her chamber door open and stepping into the darkened hallway sword
already at the ready in his hand.
It wasn’t until they were in the barn and both Sandor and her were mounted on
the large black Warhorse of Sandor’s named Stranger that Sansa felt she could
breathe again.
“Hold on tight little bird.” Was the only warning she got before Stranger took
off as if the fires of hell were at their backs and thinking of the green
wildfire that lit the city she had to think, maybe it was!
She didn’t think much after that, just held onto Sandor for dear life as the
city moved by them in a blur of speed. The wind roared in her ears and slapped
at her cheeks and for a moment she felt as if she were flying through the air
like the bird Sandor claimed her to be instead of riding on a horse.
The further away they got the darker it got, the quieter it got and the freer
she felt.
***** Trust or Fear *****
Chapter 2
Trust or Fear
They rode straight through the night and through the next day, only stopping to
relieve themselves along the way. If they were hungry they’d eat in the saddle
from the stash the Hound had collected consisting of various fruits,
vegetables, breads, cheeses and dried meats. He had brought two flagons of
wine, one of which he emptied on the first night and had refilled with fresh
stream water for her to sip at along the journey.
They didn’t talk much, as the Hound wanted to keep his eyes and ears open for
anyone who may have given chase or anything that may pose a threat along their
path. Sansa was lost in her own head, thinking of everything that had happened
in the past few months and how grateful she was to the Hound for getting her
out of that horrible place and away from those horrible people.
She’d have to find a way to thank him for everything he’d done for her, not
just this but all the little and big things he’d done these last few months. As
much as she feared him at times, deep down she knew he was the only one in all
of King’s Landing who’d watched out for her.
So far they had taken the King’s road out of the city, allowing Stranger to run
at a faster clip but suddenly Sandor slowed the big horse down and urged him
into the dense forest that surrounded the well-worn path. “Time to disappear.”
Sandor said as he led them deeper and deeper into the dense forest.
An hour later the sun had gone down but the sky still offered enough light to
see the outline of the surrounding trees. It wasn’t until the stars shined
bright and the blackness surrounded them that the Hound forced the horse to
stop completely. He swung down with a grace only born from experience and
reached up for her, grabbing her around the waist and swinging her down until
her feet touched solid ground.
“We need to rest for a few hours.” He said before untying the bedrolls, it was
then Sansa realized he had two.
“You knew I would come with you?” She asked looking up at the dark form that
loomed above her.
“Aye, I knew. Wasn’t planning on giving you a choice. Now set up the bedrolls
while I tend to Stranger.” He grunted before leading the horse to a nearby
stream.
She wasn’t sure what to make of his words but she suddenly felt uneasy about
being alone in the woods with the big man. She had to keep reminding herself
that he’d never hurt her. There was no reason he would start now, except of
course the fact that she was completely alone and at his mercy. She may not
have much experience with the opposite sex but she knew how he would look at
her when he thought no one was paying attention and she knew enough to know
what that look meant.
Taking a calming breath she did as he bid and set up both bedrolls a few feet
apart from each other. There were two blankets as well, a thick brown one and a
softer but thinner blue one. She laid out each blanket on each bedroll and
decided to sit on the one with the blue blanket, stretching out her tired legs.
She thought of going to her bags to grab her nightdress but she was worried it
wouldn’t keep her warm enough, as the night grew colder. She was also worried
about undressing out in the open with Sandor so close by. She felt guilty for
not trusting him after everything he’d done for her but after this past year it
was hard for her to trust anyone that wasn’t family.
*
As Sandor finished rubbing down Stranger after letting him have his fill of
water he glanced over at the girl lying down on the bedroll, she seemed to be
looking up at the stars lost in her own thoughts, probably thinking of one of
her fucking fairytale story that she was so fond of. It didn’t escape his
notice that the bedrolls were placed so far apart, little bird was still scared
of him it would seem. Not that it surprised him, he was lucky to get a woman to
look at him let alone trust him but after everything he’d done for her, he
expected more from this particular girl.
He needed a damn drink, and he was going to have one before crashing for a few
hours of rest. Grabbing his last flagon of wine from his pack on the back of
Stranger he walked over to the bedroll little bird had laid out for him.
Without a word he grabbed his bedroll and placed it as close to hers at it
could get hoping to provoke a reaction from her. He saw her slight form tense
but she didn’t voice an objection. Sitting down with a groan he started
drinking in long pulls from the flagon.
“Are you sure that’s wise?” At her question he first thought she was referring
to the placement of the bedrolls but realized she was referring to him
drinking. Deciding not to answer her he just grunted and kept on drinking.
An hour later his flagon was almost empty and the all too familiar feeling of
numbness had overtaken him. He looked over at the girl’s delicate form
expecting her to be sleeping but instead she was looking right at him. It was a
look of distrust, like she was expecting him to attack her at any moment and
suddenly he was pissed. She had no reason to distrust him so much he’d never
hurt her. He even tried to protect her from those who did, when he could
anyway. All he’d ever done since meeting her was try and look out for her and
still she looked at him as if he was a monster or rapist, maybe he should just
do what she accused him of with her eyes.
“Maybe we should just get this over with then.” He said, his voice hoarse from
exhaustion and drink. He lunged at her, quickly pinning her hands above her
head. One of his large hands easily held both of her small wrists in place. She
whimpered as he forced her legs apart and laid between them.
“Is this what you’re so afraid of girl?” He asked from above her.
***** In the Woods *****
Chapter 3
In the Woods
It was her worst fear realized. She’d put her faith and trust in the wrong man
and now she was going to pay the price. He was going to rape her, and there was
absolutely nothing she could do about it.
She had grown somewhat used to the helpless feeling that washed over her in
great waves and she couldn’t control the tears that formed in her eyes anymore
then she could control the man above her. She wanted to beg and plead for him
not to do this instead she only let out a whimper as he pressed his body down
on hers.
“Is this what you’re so afraid of girl?” He whispered in her ear, the smell of
warm wine suddenly surrounding her. She didn’t know if he was really expecting
an answer but she couldn’t speak if she wanted to. The hand that wasn’t holding
her wrists in their tight clasp was roaming her body, grasping her right breast
and rolling the nipple until it became a hard bud poking into his callused
hand.
“I bet you taste as good as you look.” He said before bending and taking her
lips in a punishing kiss. The shock of feeling his tongue at the seam of her
lips made her gasp and inadvertently open her mouth. She quickly closed it
again so his tongue wouldn’t enter her but accidently bit down on something
soft and at first she wasn’t sure if it was his tongue or lip but she tasted
blood. He jerked back and looked down at her with shock. She expected him to be
mad but instead he barked out a laugh, blood dripping from his bottom lip.
“So the bird becomes a wolf. Do you know what dogs do to wolves?” He asked face
twitching. Again she didn’t know if he was really expecting her to answer but
in any case she still hadn’t found her voice. It wasn’t until he started
untying the laces at the front of her dress and she felt the hard bulge at the
apex of her thighs that she started to struggle, not that she got that far,
pinned as she was underneath his massive form, she could barely move.
*
Fuck but she felt good and he was far too drunk to be testing his own limits.
If he wasn’t careful he wouldn’t be able to stop. He had to keep reminding
himself that he wasn’t doing anything she didn’t expect him to do anyway but
the more he touched her and the more he tasted her the more the line was
blurring. Even the bite she’d delivered to his lip was a bigger turn on then
anything any of the whores had done to him over the years.
His cock was so hard it ached against the confines of his breeches and the hand
that was trying to get the laces of her dress undone was starting to shake so
bad that he had half a mind to just tear into the damn thing until her perfect
teats were bared to his view. It was then she started struggling against him.
His weight on top of her didn’t allow her much movement but enough to grind
herself down on his cock and make him groan out loud before he could call it
back. They both froze at the sound and looked at each other.
Suddenly he could see through his haze of lust, wine and anger to take in the
situation. The girl underneath him was so terrified she was trembling, hell she
looked like she did the day of the riots when she was almost gang raped, her
hair was disheveled around her, her dress was partially torn open but it was
her eyes that would haunt him. He was no better then the rest of them he
thought in disgust of himself.
Rolling off of her and onto his bedroll he took deep gulping breaths and flung
his hand over his eyes trying to erase the site of her terrified face from his
mind.
He needed to get this girl back to her family, he knew it would be a long
journey but he needed to get her home to Winterfell and as quickly as possible.
She tempted him too damn much. He’d never felt such little control over himself
as he did with his little bird and it scared him.
Imagine that, the big fierce Hound that nearly everyone in the seven kingdoms
feared, if not from his reputation then from his face, was downright terrified
of the pretty little girl currently breathing in quick shaky breaths next to
him.
“Get some sleep girl, this won’t happen again.” He said not bothering to look
at her before standing up and stomping into the tree line needing to relieve
his cock before he could finally get some much needed sleep.
He was no stranger from pleasuring himself. Whores were few and far between for
him not because he couldn’t afford them but because it always hurt his pride
whenever he went to a whorehouse only to face even more looks of disgust and
fear that he’d had almost his whole life. He always felt somehow shameful after
finding release in some nameless, faceless whore.
There were better things he could spend his coin on then a woman who didn’t
really want him and couldn’t even pretend she did. Hell more times then not
they wanted him to take them from behind so they wouldn’t have to look at his
ugly face and the worst thing was, he couldn’t blame them.
*
Gods, her heart was beating so fast she thought it might beat its way right out
of her chest completely. As she started to struggle under the fierce man above
her she could feel the hard bulge rubbing against her woman’s place and
surprisingly it lit a spark within her that felt like liquid heat spreading
through her bones. She didn’t understand and didn’t know if she wanted to but
she couldn’t help but gasp at the sensation it ignited within her, luckily his
loud groan above her drowned out the sound and they both seemed to freeze at
that.
She looked up at him and he looked down at her. She wasn’t sure what would
happen next but as the solid heat of the man lifted off her to roll onto his
own bedroll she wasn’t just shocked but a little appalled that part of her was
disappointed at the loss.
Long seconds stretched that felt like minutes and minutes that felt like hours
before he finally broke the quiet. “Get some sleep girl, this won’t happen
again.” And with that he stood and disappeared into the trees. If it wasn’t for
his great warhorse resting near by she might think he would never return but
before too long she could hear heavy footsteps coming up behind her.
Embarrassed, she refused to turn and look at him and it wasn’t until she felt
cold metal press against her throat that she realized what a terrible mistake
that had been.
***** The Attack *****
Chapter 4
The Attack
The cold metal bit into the delicate flesh of her neck eliciting a shocked gasp
from her lips.
“Make another noise and it’ll be the last thing you do.” The deadly whisper
slithered out of the dark and made her skin crawl with its evil implications.
She held her breath to hold in her desperate, terrified scream as she was
yanked to her feet by the tight, painful grasp in her hair. She could feel a
wall of hard steel at her back that she immediately recognized as armor but she
knew this was no true knight.
He jerked her back toward the tree line, never letting up on his grip of her
hair or the pressure on the knife, held right above her fluttering pulse. She
could feel the sting of the sharp blade and the droplets of blood starting to
make a slow slide down the side of her neck dripping onto her exposed chest.
There was a roaring in her ears and ice in her veins as they got further and
further away from the clearing and from her only hope.
If only she was brave enough or strong enough to fight back. This wasn’t like
before with Sandor, if she didn’t do something and fast she would die, she
could feel it in her bones. She made a decision then as they went further into
the forest until not even the moonlight could reach them. She could fight, the
second the knife was lifted from her vulnerable flesh, she would fight.
*
After finding his release Sandor took his time before going back to the
clearing. He didn’t want to face the girl and he was hoping if he gave her that
extra time, she would fall asleep before his return.
He stumbled his way back hoping with every step the girl would be sound asleep
so he wouldn’t have to face her accusatory gaze or even worse, her wounded
gaze. It wasn’t until the bedrolls were nearly at his feet that he found the
courage to look up from the ground and face her.
Gone, gone, gone. He whipped his head in every direction expecting her to
appear any minute, when she didn’t he whirled his gaze to Stranger immediately
seeing her two bags still tied tight to his back. “Little bird!” He exclaimed
in a loud whisper, not wanting to yell for her in case there was anyone else in
the area.
Growing more frantic by the second Sandor was walking circles in the clearing
calling out for her louder each time, no longer caring who the fuck else might
hear him as long as she did too.
The forest was dense, and even if she’d just wandered off to try and find him
she could’ve easily gotten turned around. She could be lost, scared and alone
and it was all his fault. He couldn’t just pack up and start searching for her
in case she found her way back only to find him gone, she’d think he’d
abandoned her.
Just as he was letting panic take over he heard his name yelled in a terrified,
desperate voice some distance away. He ran.
*
He finally removed the blade from her throat and she was able to take her first
deep breath since it had been placed there. He still held her hair not allowing
her to look back at him only ahead. She could make out a large horse tied to a
tree and as they approached it he finally released her from his grip entirely
for the first time.
Whirling around to look at the man that thought he had a right to steal her,
she nearly fell to the ground in fright at his shear size. It wasn’t just his
height it was everything about him. He was more beast than man closer to the
size of a bear than a human; he was the embodiment of all the scary monsters
she’d learned to be afraid of as a child. Every fear she’d ever had seemed
silly in the face of this and dread weighed heavy in the pit of her belly.
She couldn’t fight this. She couldn’t fight him. He was solid muscle at least
ten times her size. She was like the little bird Sandor claimed her to be next
to this man. She would be crushed to nothing after he was done with her. He
smiled then, a smile full of malice, as he looked her up and down, stopping at
the upper swell of her breasts that had been exposed when Sandor had been
tearing at her dress earlier.
“What a pretty prize.” He said before grabbing a rope from his horse’s saddle.
Making quick work of tying her two wrists together. He jerked her closer to his
chest leaning over her to whisper in her ear. “You’re mine now.”
“Never!” She said before she could think better of it and immediately feared
for her life after she saw the rage that marred his dark features. “Sandor.”
She screamed at the top of her lungs, realizing he was her only hope now.
He lifted her off the ground with the hold he had on her throat, his large
thumb and fingers from one hand nearly able to completely encircle her neck.
“My idiot brother can’t save you. I’m going to enjoy making you scream.”
She thought she might lose her bladder but her fear transferred quick enough as
she realized she wasn’t getting air into her burning lungs. Her vision was
dimming and blurring. Knowing she was going to pass out at any second she
started praying.
Suddenly she felt a warm spray across her face, chest and belly before falling
to the ground though she could swear she still felt his large painful grip
around her throat. It wasn’t until she hit the ground that the grip loosened
and fell away and she realized that it was only the hand and part of the arm.
The monster was no longer attached to either.
She heard his scream of pain before she looked up and saw Sandor with his sword
buried deep in his brother’s stomach. He sliced upward opening the wound until
guts spilled at their feet. With no words or sounds exchanged between the
brothers Gregor Clegane fell to the ground as Sandor withdrew his sword.
They listened in silence looking at one another as the monster took his last
breath.
***** Turning Point *****
Chapter 5
Turning Point
It wasn’t anything like his dreams and he supposed that was a good thing. He
never imagined even in his wildest dreams that he would best his brother
without first a fight to the death. It was only thanks to his little bird that
Gregor had been too distracted to hear him and with one blow of his sword it
had been too late.
He watched the shock and pain spread across his brother’s face as his sword cut
off his hand in one slice, his sword hand, his killing hand. Gregor roared in
pain and turned on him. Sandor thrust his blade into the man who’d tortured him
and disfigured him and didn’t stop until only the hilt remained.
He expected to feel glory or pride or justice or peace, something in this
moment other than an overwhelming sense of loss. Not at taking his own
brother’s life, he could and would never regret this moment but without that
purpose driving him day in and day out, he wasn’t entirely sure where that left
him. With a driving thrust up he felt his brother’s life leave his body as
surely as his guts did.
He looked over at his little bird and took a step forward before stopping in
his tracks. He was painfully aware that in her eyes he was no better then the
monster at his feet and after his actions towards her tonight he could hardly
blame her for that.
Even in the dark he could tell her eyes were dilated in shock, her hair was a
tangled mass around her perfect oval face and her entire front was sprayed with
blood. He was worried that not all the blood on her belonged to his brother.
She’d been alone with Gregor, he didn’t know for how long, god knows what he’d
done to her in that time.
Her dress was torn partially open and it shamed him to think that it was
probably by his own hand and not his brother’s. She’d been through hell
tonight, first by his drunken stupidity and then his brother’s evil. He didn’t
know how to comfort her or if she’d even want him to, of all people, so he
didn’t make a move towards her like he was itching to do.
To say he was shocked when she stood and launched herself at him would be an
understatement but he didn’t hesitate as he returned her tight hold. They were
both covered in blood and as they embraced each other he couldn’t tell if it
was him or her who was shaking the most. He supposed it didn’t really matter,
in this moment he needed her, they needed each other.
He somehow knew that she wouldn’t let him go anytime soon and as he wasn’t
overly prepared to release her either, he just picked her up around the waist
to carry her back to their camp and Stranger. It seemed somehow a natural thing
when her legs came around his waist and her head nuzzled into the crook where
his neck met his shoulder, as if she were trying to burrow under his skin.
The only sound as they made their way back was of his footsteps and their two
wildly beating hearts.
When they reached their camp Sandor tried to set the girl down by Stranger but
she refused to budge from her perch. “Listen to me little bird, I have to pack
our bedrolls and we have to fly. If Gregor was here then he was sure to have
more men with him. We’ve already spent too much time here as is.” When he went
to try and pull her off again he got much the same result. “Sansa, I’m going to
set you on Stranger, grab our things and mount up right behind you. Ten seconds
is all I need and then I promise you can hold me as long and tight as you need
while we’re getting away from here.”
That seemed to do the trick as she slowly released her slim arms from around
his neck; it was then he noticed her wrists were bound tightly together by
thick rope. Swearing under his breath, he swung the slight form onto Stranger
before quickly gathering their things.
He was swinging up into the saddle behind the girl in less then ten seconds. As
soon as his arse and thighs hit the saddle Stranger took off taking them deep
into the forest.
*
She clung to him as if her life depended on it and in a way she figured it did.
She’d be dead right now if it weren’t for him and if not dead then praying for
death to come and take her. She knew it as surely as she knew her own name.
She was so cold, a cold that went so deep she wondered if she would ever feel
warm again. If it weren’t for her jaw being clenched so tight she was certain
her teeth would be chattering together. The only warmth she could seem to find
was at his neck and she tried to burrow her head as close to him as she could
get it.
Eyes shut as tight as her jaw she tried to forget, she wanted the memory erased
completely or she was sure nightmares would haunt her for the rest of her days.
She had seen evil before but never like tonight, what she saw tonight was evil
in the purist form.
She vaguely heard Sandor talking to her but she couldn’t seem to hear his
words. It wasn’t until he tried to get her to release her hold from around his
neck that she listened to what he was saying. “Sansa, I’m going to set you on
Stranger, grab our things and mount up right behind you. Ten seconds is all I
need and then I promise you can hold me as long and tight as you need while
we’re getting away from here.” It was the promise of being able to hold onto
him again that made her reluctantly release her grip. She was immediately swung
up and into the saddle on the same breath.
It seemed he kept his word as he was back to her quickly and mounted up behind
her. Stranger took off in a mad gallop but she was paying no attention, instead
turning around in the saddle with every intention of being back into the arms
of Sandor. She didn’t get far though when he stopped her by grabbing hold of
her hands and before she could even process that he had a dagger the rope was
cut, releasing her bound wrists.
Until then she had forgotten they were even tied and as the tight pressure was
released blood flowed back into her fingers making them ache and tingle. As if
Sandor knew what she was feeling he slowly messaged both hands with his one
free one as the other was guiding Stranger. When they felt better she slowly
removed them from his warm grasp and looked up into his eyes. He was studying
her, taking everything in.
“Well come on then.” He said gruffly opening his free arm to her. Not needing
to think on it she turned in the saddle until she was on his lap and completely
facing him. She curled herself as close to him as she could, needing the warmth
and comfort and maybe just maybe the man himself.
***** Change of Plans *****
Chapter 6
Change of Plans
The girl had fallen asleep some time ago, still curled up nice and tight on his
lap. Exhaustion had come and taken the place of fear and she was finally
getting some much-needed rest. Now that she was in a deep slumber he tried to
look her over as best he could, checking for injuries. He’d been afraid to just
ask her, fragile as she seemed, but from what he could tell most of the blood
was indeed Gregor’s. He could see a cut at the side of her throat that would
need tending to once they could finally stop again. She had bruising around her
wrists and throat and god only knew if she had any injuries where he couldn’t
see but he wasn’t about to take her dress off to check.
They were still on Lannister land which was a good and bad thing, it was bad
because they were surely being hunted by now and still far too close to King’s
Landing for his liking and good because he knew this land like the back of his
hand. He knew there was a natural hot springs a few hours ride away, the
perfect place to stop, bathe and eat a proper meal. They both needed to get
cleaned up as blood was drying and forming a hard, sticky layer over their skin
and clothes. They couldn’t stop for long though, not if they wanted to stay
ahead of their pursuers.
The way he figured it, they still had an entire day and night head start on
anyone sent to come after them and he intended to widen that lead not diminish
it. It helped that he was taking them west before heading north, hoping no one
would guess what direction they were taking, giving them even more separation.
Anyone who knew the Hound would never guess he would go toward Clegane’s Keep
but that’s exactly what he planned to do before cutting up north again. If he
was going to get Sansa home safe he didn’t just need to outrun them he needed
to out smart them.
The sun was high in the sky and just starting to warm the air and ground around
them when they arrived at the springs. Sansa was still sound asleep and he was
loathe to wake her from the peace she seemed to have found but they both needed
to get clean and eat.
“Little bird, wake up.” He said gently nudging her, not wanting to startle her.
She blinked slowly into awareness taking in their surroundings before looking
up at him from the crook of his arm where she’d fallen asleep. “Time to get
clean girl.” He said before gathering her higher into his arms and jumping down
from Stranger in one fluid movement holding the slight weight with utmost care.
“Where are we?” She asked rubbing her eyes as he lowered her feet to the
ground.
“We’re still in the Crownlands, not too far from Stoney Sept.” Was his gruff
reply as he untied one of her bags from Stranger’s back.
“Grab some clean clothes from your bag girl, we need to get this blood washed
off.”
As Sansa rummaged through her bag for her most comfortable dress and small
clothes Sandor rummaged through his to find his soap and an old cloak she could
use to dry off. After they had what they needed Sandor lead her to the edge of
the warm spring. He set down the cloak on a large boulder before turning back
to hand her the soap.
“Take your time and make sure you get that cut clean. I’m going to go hunting
so we can have a decent meal but I’ll stay within shouting distance.” When he
turned to leave her to it she stopped him with a delicate hand at his arm.
She licked her lips nervously and could no longer meet his eyes when she asked,
“Could you stay?” When he made no move to respond, not sure what exactly she
was asking of him she continued in a tremulous voice. “Please. I just can’t be
alone.”
“Alright little bird, I’ll stay but that means more bread and cheese for us.”
She just shook her head in understanding and with that he turned his back on
her to give her some privacy.
Without being able to see what she was doing he was better able to hear every
movement loud and clear. From the rustle of her dress as it hit the ground to
the sound of light splashing water and even her sigh of enjoyment, he presumed
at the soothing warmth the water offered.
“How is this water so warm?” Came her inquisitive voice from behind him.
“Fuck if I know.” Sandor didn’t consider himself a smart man but even if he
did, he wouldn’t presume to know how the land around them worked.
When he heard her hiss out in pain he nearly turned to check on her before he
thought better of it, instead he just voiced what he was thinking. “Everything
alright little bird?”
“Yes, the soap just stings my cut.” And so it continued, Sandor listening to
every tinkling of water and sound from her lips as she finished cleaning,
drying and dressing. When he felt her light touch at his back he turned to find
her in a simple dark blue gown, her hair in wet waves around her shoulders, her
cheeks pink from the warmth and thankfully every drop of blood erased from her
creamy skin.
“Thank you for watching over me Sandor.” She said handing him his soap and
looking into his eyes. She seemed shy all of the sudden so he cleared his
throat and went to grab his own clean clothes breaking the awkward moment that
had descended on them.
“I need to wash now little bird, I don’t care what you do just stay close.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” She said and turned her back to give him privacy,
just as he’d done for her.
He made quick work of washing his own body, it took him longer to remove all
his armor then it did to actually wash himself but soon enough he was clean,
dried and dressed.
“Alright girl, you can turn around now.” He felt much better now that he’d
washed away all traces of his brother and now his hunger was making itself
known. “Time to eat, I think. Would you like to stay here and eat?”
“Oh, yes please. It’s so beautiful here, don’t you think?” Always so fucking
polite he thought to himself shaking his head as he untied one of their
blankets to spread out on the rocky terrain.
He observed the girl as she made her way over and it seemed now that the shock
had worn off she wasn’t quite as physically clingy but her eyes seemed to
follow him everywhere he went which was disconcerting to say the least. As far
back as he could remember he couldn’t get anyone to even look at him let alone
stare at him as this girl was doing. It made him feel self conscious and uneasy
under the never-ending gaze.
To distract himself he dug into their food stash and pulled out some cheese,
bread and two apples. He started slicing up a few pieces of cheese to hand over
to the girl. When she went to take what he offered with a soft ‘thank you’ on
her lips, he noticed how dark some of the bruising around her wrists had
gotten.
She started nibbling at the cheese and he had to shake his head at how daintily
she ate. “You even eat like a damn bird.” He said with a snort and was
surprised at her amused laugh. He couldn’t help the smile that came to his lips
at the musical sound and realized he hadn’t heard her laugh in a long time, not
since she was with all her family at Winterfell. When he realized that she had
abruptly stopped he looked up to see her staring at him in what could only be
described as shock. His smile immediately fell, he was conscious of how ugly
his face appeared when he smiled. Looking down at the ground, no longer wanting
to meet her gaze he could feel his cheeks actually heating in embarrassment.
“I like it when you smile.” She said then meeting his shocked gaze with utmost
sincerity. “You should do it more often.” Sandor didn’t know how to respond, so
he didn’t respond at all just handed her bits of the apple he’d just sliced and
bit in to his own.
They were just finishing their meager meal when they could hear voices coming.
Sansa looked at him in fright before he jumped into action. He dashed to
Stranger’s side and grabbed his sword acutely aware of the fact that he wasn’t
wearing his armor, he felt exposed and vulnerable.
He turned to get back to Sansa and nearly knocked her to the ground, not
realizing she had followed close behind him. Without words or preamble he swung
her into the saddle and turned just in time to see a man and woman ride into
the clearing on horseback. They came to an abrupt stop when they spotted him,
taking in his large frame, scarred face and large sword held in a tight grip.
He saw the woman glance at Sansa before pity lit her features. He knew what she
must be thinking, that he had her by force, what other reason could a beautiful
girl like Sansa want with and ugly brute like him. It was the man though that
broke the silence.
“We don’t want any trouble sir, we’ve been traveling for weeks and just needed
to rest and wash up. We’re in the family way and I want no blood to be shed.”
“Where are you traveling from?” Sandor asked relaxing his grip on the hilt of
his sword but only marginally.
“White Harbor and before you ask we take no sides in this god-forsaken war and
after what happened to Winterfell and the two Stark boys we don’t plan to.”
“What are you talking about?” Sansa asked from behind him.
“You haven’t heard? Theon Greyjoy took Winterfell capturing and killing the two
youngest Stark boys. They were only babies and as if that wasn’t bad enough he
left all of Winterfell in ruin, burning the castle to the ground.” The woman
exclaimed as if she were gossiping to an old friend.
Little bird grabbed hold of his shoulder from on top of Stranger and he glanced
back at her trying to warn her with a look that he hoped she would
understand…these people could not know who she really was. He knew what he was
asking, to not show any reaction to such devastating news yet somehow she
managed it. Squaring her shoulders and taking a deep breath she looked the
couple straight in the eyes and started spouting her courtesies.
“What a terrible, terrible tragedy. I’m so sorry for everything you must have
gone through to feel the need to leave your home. War is such a terrible time
for everyone and I do so hope you can find peace wherever you’re going as my
husband and I are in search of the same dream. We were just leaving, but the
water was wonderful, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it as much as we did.”
Sandor took that as his cue to collect their blanket, thankfully his armor and
everything else had been repacked before they’d sat down to eat so they were
riding away from the springs before the other couple had even dismounted their
horses.
When they were a safe distance away Sandor slowed Stranger down to a trot.
“Little bird, I’m sorry about your brothers and your home.” When she didn’t
respond or even acknowledge he’d spoken he continued. “I’m proud of you for
keeping it together back there, you did great.” Again she didn’t respond or
look back at him. “Little bird, look at me.” It didn’t happen immediately but
she turned her upper body around to look back at him. It was then he could see
the silent tears that streamed down her cheeks. It damn near broke his heart to
see the devastation on her pretty face and if he knew what to say or do to ease
it he would surely do it but he hadn’t a clue so he just grabbed her around the
waist and dragged her onto his lap, holding her as she cried.
*
She cried until she had no tears left, for Bran, for Rickon, for home. She felt
like a lost orphan, floundering in the cold, hard world no family in sight and
no hope to ever return home. What would be the point of returning? Her home was
nothing but rubble now.
“What will we do, where will we go?” She asked looking up at Sandor with
something akin to desperation in her voice.
“I know I have no right to ask this little bird but I will anyway, do you trust
me?” She couldn’t explain it but she did trust him, she trusted him with her
life. He’d keep her safe.
“Yes, I trust you. I’ll go wherever you take me.” He seemed surprised by her
answer and maybe she was a little surprised herself but she knew as long as she
was with him it would all be ok somehow, he’d make it ok.
***** Winter's Coming *****
Chapter 7
Winter’s Coming
They rode in silence for some time before she finally asked what had been on
her mind. “Where are you taking me?”
It seemed to take him forever before he finally answered. “Clegane land. It’s
actually the perfect place. No one would ever expect me to return there, it
would probably be the last place they’d look in fact and with Gregor dead most
of the area will be abandoned soon enough.”
“But if we show up at Clegane’s Keep won’t word get back to the Lannister’s?”
Sansa said with a slight edge of panic in her voice.
“I never said we were going to Clegane’s Keep.”
They fell into silence again and instead of inquiring further Sansa just
decided to trust him, he obviously had a plan and she would find out soon
enough what it was.
*
They rode the rest of the day in relative silence. It wasn’t until the sun had
long disappeared that the girl fell asleep against him again. The breeze was
picking up and there was a bite in the air that hadn’t been there before. He
pulled his cloak off his back, moving as little as possible so he wouldn’t
jostle her. He wrapped it around her trying to bundle her as close to his
warmth as he could get her. He would have to stop soon to rest himself, he’d
been up for days on end and his eyes were starting to feel like sand was in
them but now that he had a new destination and one so close he just wanted to
get there. He also admitted to himself that he had a fear of stopping again.
After the last time they stopped for the night and the nightmare it had turned
into…it was the last thing he wanted to do, no matter how tired he was.
He made it through most of the night before he started nodding off in the
saddle. It wasn’t until he nearly fell off with Sansa in his arms that he
finally forced Stranger to a stop.
The girl jerked awake as he was sliding off Stranger’s back.
“Are we there?” She asked trying to look past the dark that surrounded them.
“I need sleep,” was all he had the energy to explain at the moment. “Grab the
bedrolls, I have to take a piss.” He said walking away from her.
“Sandor!” She called after him.
“What is it now girl!” He exclaimed, letting exhaustion turn to frustration.
“Nothing, it’s just…” Whatever she’d been about to say she must’ve thought
better of it as she let her voice fall off into silence but he knew what she’d
been about to suggest.
“Would you prefer I piss in front of you?” Sandor growled stomping back to her
when she didn’t respond just looked at the ground. “I don’t know what you want
from me girl, but if my cock comes out of my breeches in your vicinity right
now you’re not going to like what happens next.”
He almost barked out a laugh at her scandalized look before continuing. “What
did you forget that I’m no white knight? You should damn well know better by
now.” He knew he was over reacting but at this point he couldn’t even see
straight let alone think straight and now he couldn’t even go in the woods to
relieve his aching bladder because the girl was too scared to be alone.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong with me!” She exclaimed wringing her
hands in front of her.
Suddenly feeling like the arse he new he was acting he gentled his tone. “I’m
the one that’s sorry little bird, you have every right to react this way after
everything that’s happened. I’m just tired.”
“I know you are, how could you not be? You go while I set up our beds just
please don’t go far!”
She was already curled up under the blankets when he came back. He was
surprised that she set up the bedrolls close enough that they were touching,
especially after his actions towards her last time but he supposed it had to do
with how damn cold it had gotten outside. He could almost smell the snow on the
wind. Without further thought he made his way over to his bed and his bird. He
was out the second his head touched the ground.
He only woke once when he felt a warm weight snuggle up to his front but he was
still too weighed down with lethargy to really comprehend what it was. The next
time he awoke even though the skies were overcast with grey clouds he could
tell the sun was high above them and he realized he must’ve slept half the day
away. The wind was howling through the trees now and instead of warming up from
the daylight the air had only gotten cooler since the previous night.
“Winter’s coming.” The girl beside him chirped and he realized that not only
was she awake but she’d been awake awhile now and watching the moving clouds up
above.
“Aye, you may be right about that.” He said as the first snowflakes started
fluttering down. He got up from his bedroll and looked down at the girl.
“We best ride like the wind, we may even be able to make it without stopping
another night if we push ahead hard and fast, that sound like a plan to you?”
“Yes, I’d like to get where we’re going and get out of this cold.”
“My thoughts exactly little bird, you ready?” He asked while reaching down to
help her up.
“I’m ready.” She said, taking a tight hold of his offered hand.
***** Winter's Here *****
Chapter 8
Winter’s Here
They made it just in time it seemed. The wind was howling, the temperature kept
dropping by measurable degrees with each passing moment and what started as
light fluttery snow flakes was quickly becoming a full fledged blizzard. They
were deep in the mountains now in the area south of Clegane’s Keep and north of
a small town called Cornfield but more importantly they were home. “We’re
here.” Sandor said and dismounted before reaching up for the girl.
“We’re staying for the night?” She asked in confusion.
“No, we’re staying for a while.” With that the girl looked around the area with
brows furrowed.
“I don’t understand. This is where we’re staying?”
He knew what she was seeing, a small lake surrounded by large mountains on all
sides, trees everywhere and no shelter in sight and that’s exactly why he knew
this would work.
“Behind you girl.” She whipped her head around searching the terrain before
looking back at him with nothing but confusion marring her pretty features.
“Come on, I’ll show you.” He said before grabbing all their things off
Stranger’s back and leading her to the mountainside. He knew exactly when she
spotted the opening to the cave, her eyes widened in shock.
“You want us to live in a cave?” She asked incredulously.
“Think about it, anywhere we went whether it be a big or small village we’d
have to look over our shoulders worrying that someone would recognize us and to
be honest that’s pretty easy to do. Neither one of us could blend into a crowd.
But if we could disappear, truly disappear for the winter and maybe even the
war…” His voice trailed off before continuing again. “You’d be safe.” He said
trying to convince her or maybe even himself.
“But how are we to survive a winter in a cave? We’d surely freeze to death!”
“Keeping warm won’t be a problem and with a little work it will have all the
conveniences of any home. I promised I’d take care of you, I meant it.” She
looked from him to the crevice in the mountain. “I need you to trust me little
bird.”
After a few moments of silence she looked up at him and took a deep breath
before speaking. “Alright, show me our new home.”
When they entered the cave it was nearly pitch black, the angle of the crevice
made the opening of the cave almost impossible to spot from the outside it also
offered very little daylight from the inside. He dropped the bags and went to
the very back of the cave.
“Sandor I can’t see! Where’d you go?” The girl asked from only a few feet into
the entrance. Instead of answering her he lit the fire and suddenly the room
was filled with a soft golden light.
“Oh” she exclaimed taking a long look as if she couldn’t quite believe what she
was seeing.
*
“I promised I’d take care of you, I meant it. I need you to trust me.” The
thought of living in a cave for months if not years was going to take some
getting used to but Sandor had such a hopeful expression on his face and she
knew she just needed to trust him like he so wanted her to. Besides he was
right about always having to look over their shoulders, there was no town big
or small they’d be safe in. All it would take was one wrong person recognizing
them for their location to get back to the Lannisters.
“Alright, show me our new home.” He led her into the crevice that was so well
concealed she never would’ve noticed it if not for Sandor showing it to her.
There was a small corridor they went through before the true opening was
revealed.
It was so dark she couldn’t see a single thing and when Sandor walked deeper
inside she lost sight of him and suddenly felt very alone and nervous. She
stepped forward trying to get near him again and nearly tripped only then
realizing there was a small step up.
“Sandor, I can’t see! Where’d you go?” Silence met her question and she was
about to call out for him again when a soft glow suddenly illuminated the large
room.
The first thing she noticed was the source of the light. Not only was there a
large fire along the back wall but it was enclosed in a full fledged stone
fireplace, running all the way from the floor to the ceiling of the cave, it
even had a large hearth and grate in front of the flames. At a loss for words
all that escaped her mouth was a shocked, “oh.”
Taking another step forward she almost tripped again on the same step as
before. That was when she finally looked down and realized there was wood
flooring covering the entire surface of the cave a few inches off the stone.
“Oh,” she exclaimed again not sure what else to say.
She quickly surveyed the rest of her surroundings. There was an old bedroll
laid out with a dirty blanket that she thought might’ve been white at one point
as well as a small, light blue washbasin with an old rag and pitcher on the
floor next to it. There was a broom standing in the far corner and a small
stack of wood off to one side of the fireplace with an axe propped up next to
it. There was a metal pail turned on its side and a wood box off to her left
next to a small round wood table with old playing cards scattered on its
surface. There was even a bench about five feet long carved out of the side of
the cave.
“Sandor, what is this place? Did you use to live here?”
“This was the only safe place I had to go when I was a child. I was trying to
make it more livable and comfortable before I had to abandon it completely
after my father’s death. Do you like it?” Before she could reply however he
rushed to continue. “I know it’s not much now but after I make a trip to town
to gather the necessary supplies I can make you a bed over here.” He said
pointing along the wall to her right. “And over here I can set up a tub for
you. We have unlimited water from the lake outside and we can heat the water by
the fire; you could have a hot bath anytime you wanted. We could have a kitchen
area over here. I’ll make a bigger table that we could both eat at. I wouldn’t
have to go far for hunting, there’s plenty of game around here, large and small
and that lake right outside is full of fish. You’d never go hungry.”
“Oh Sandor, it’s perfect!” She exclaimed and meant it. He smiled at her then, a
full-fledged smile and only the second one she’d seen on him and she couldn’t
help but smile back.
He went to the wood box and started rummaging through it not stopping until he
had a line with a hook at the end. “I’m going to see to Stranger and catch some
dinner, you stay here out of this damn cold.”
“Alright, I’ll just clean up a little.” She said going for the broom. She got
to work first starting at the ceiling that was surprisingly high for a cave,
almost eight feet tall throughout most of the room. There were old cobwebs
along the ceiling and walls as well as dirt and dust. Once she was done
sweeping she’d have to actually scrub to get all the filth out, she thought to
herself as she worked. She wasn’t used to this kind of work but she used to be
best friends with one of the girls that cleaned for her family while growing
up. They would make up cleaning games and pretend to be princesses forced to do
work before they were magically rescued by there knights in shining armor. She
smiled at some of the old memories that came unbidden to her mind. She enjoyed
the work surprisingly enough, she felt useful for the first time in a long
time.
When she was done sweeping the ceiling and walls off she started on the floors.
They were large planked wood floors, sanded and smooth but unvarnished.
She was just finishing up when she heard Sandor’s returning footsteps. He
walked in with Stranger’s saddle in one hand and the line with four nice size
fish hanging from the end in the other.
“I don’t know about you little bird but I need a real meal.” At the thought of
steaming fish her mouth suddenly filled with saliva and her tummy decided to
grumble.
“Yes, I’m starving.” Soon enough they were dining on their hot meal, both
sitting in front of the fire enjoying the warmth together. The fish melted in
her mouth and though it didn’t have any seasonings, nothing had ever tasted
better to her.
The wind was howling so badly outside that they could hear the whistling coming
from the entrance to their new home, filling up the silence. The sun had
recently gone down outside but they wouldn’t have noticed as the same amount of
light still filled their cave. When they were done with their meal and their
bellies were full for the first time in a long time they spread out their
bedrolls in front of the fire and both fell into the sweet oblivion of some
much needed sleep.
***** Alone *****
Chapter Notes
     There is a major spoiler from George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and
     Fire book series in this chapter and if you are unaware of what the
     "Red Wedding" is and don't want to know then please don't read the
     section I marked with **Spoiler** and **End of Spoiler**. Any other
     spoilers I have in the future of this story will be marked the same
     way. Thank you for reading and enjoy!
Chapter 9
Alone
When they awoke the next morning the fire was dying down and the room was
getting cold. Sandor immediately got up to feed it more wood and soon enough
the heat was surrounding them again.
He needed to make a trip to Cornfield today before winter really settled in and
made the path impossible for Stranger to trek through but first they needed to
make a list of everything he would need to get and the sooner he could get
going the better the chance of him making it back before nightfall.
It would be a long day for him, and he had a feeling for his little bird too
though for different reasons. She hadn’t been alone since his brother and he
had a feeling she wasn’t going to handle it well but she’d be safer here, far
safer here then she would be in town.
Sansa got up and started rummaging through her bag not stopping until she had
her brush in her hands. She was humming to herself while she started brushing
her long auburn strands making them shine and gleam in the firelight. “What
shall we do today?” She asked looking up at him.
“I have to go into town but first we need to come up with a list of everything
we’ll need in the coming months, care to help me?”
“Of course!” She exclaimed. “Do you have parchment, ink and quill?”
“I may have a quill but the ink is probably dried up, we’ll have to add some
water to it. There is no parchment here anymore though.”
“That’s ok, I can tear out a page from my book.” She said going to her bag once
again while he went to collect some water from the lake with the metal pail
that had been left abandoned from before.
When he returned the girl was sitting on the stone bench with the small table
pulled up close, the blank page already spread out in front of her. He set the
pail down at the hearth in front of the fire intending to warm it in case she
wanted to wash up later but first he grabbed the dried ink jar and added a
small bit of water to it stirring the now black contents with the quill.
“Alright, write down what all you need little bird.”
He watched as she bent to the task, her face a mask of concentration. “Let’s
see we’ll need candles and lanterns so we can have more light, furs for the
colder winter months ahead, bathing supplies, soaps and a sponges and such. I
would love to have knitting and sewing supplies! We’ll need kitchen supplies
including pots and pans, plates and bowls, cups and utensils. We’ll need food
including rice, beans, flour, sugar, butter and cooking oils, spices and seeds
for fruits, vegetables and herbs. A teakettle would be nice with some tea and
honey to last me awhile. What else can you think of?” She asked looking to him
to complete the list.
“I’ll get a horse blanket for Stranger and hay and oats for when the ground
freezes. I’ll get us a couple feather beds, you won’t have to sleep on the
floor much longer!” He exclaimed. “I’ll get us at least one more pail and one
more washbasin as well as the tub I promised you. We need an icebox to store
and keep food. I’m going to get a bow and arrows to hunt for large game as well
as varnish for the wood floor and oil for any wood I work with. We’ll need
knives for food prep. I’ll need some more tools for cutting and carving wood as
well as tools for stonework. We’ll need some rope, a net and a couple tarps.
And we’ll for sure need medicines and bandages in case of an emergency.”
“Sandor, we’re running out of room on the paper!” She exclaimed and looked up
at him. “How are we going to afford all of this? And how will we ever get this
all back here from town?”
“Is there room for one more thing on the list?” He asked with a smirk.
“Yes I guess.” She said quill poised to write again.
“A wagon.” He exclaimed feeling proud of himself.
“But how can we afford a wagon and all of this stuff!” She exclaimed before
jumping to her feet. “Wait, my jewels, I forgot I had them! You could sell
them, they should buy most of the stuff, if not all of it!” She exclaimed
before running to her bags.
“We don’t need to sell your jewels little bird, I have plenty of coin. I was
paid handsomely by the Lannisters for years with nothing and no one to spend it
on and I’ve won countless tourneys over the years. I’m actually quite rich with
coin at this point.” She just stared at him mouth agape at his words.
“You’re rich?” She asked with so much disbelief he had a mind to feel offended
but quickly dispelled the notion, instead just answered her question.
“Let’s just put it this way, we won’t be hurting for coin for a long, long
time, even after today’s purchases.”
“Well I had no idea sir!” She exclaimed.
“Don’t start with that sir bullshit again!” He growled back not liking her
teasing tone and then she giggled at him, actually giggled. At his incredulous
look she only laughed harder so hard in fact she was holding onto her side as
if she’d given herself a cramp. He couldn’t help but smile down at her even if
she was laughing at his expense but seeing her so happy made him somehow feel
as if he’d done something right. She was looking up at him as her laughter
slowly died off.
“Awe, there’s that smile.” She said, a smile still on her perfect face, wiping
the smile from his however unintentionally.
“I need to get going if I’m to make it back from town before nightfall.” He
said breaking the silence and suddenly needing some space from the girl that
seemed to easily tie him in knots.
“Wait, what? I’m going with you!” She demanded stepping towards him and
grabbing onto his forearm.
“No little bird, you’ll stay here. The less attention we draw to ourselves the
better and it’s still storming out there. You’ll be safer here.”
“I’ll be safer with you! Please you can’t leave me.” Her grasp on his arm had
gotten tighter and tighter until her nails bit into his skin in her desperation
to keep a hold of him. “I’ll be good I promise. I’ll stay out of your way, I
won’t talk to anyone and I’ll keep the hood over my hair. I’ll do whatever you
want, please Sandor!”
“What I want is for you to stay here. The less I have to worry about the faster
this trip will be. Besides I may need to carry some stuff back on Stranger if
all of it doesn’t fit on the wagon. I promise you’ll be safe here Sansa as long
as you stay in the cave, no one will find you. You’ll be warm, dry and
protected from the elements.”
“How far away is the town?” She asked now chewing on her plump bottom lip,
making his cock twitch in the process.
“A few leagues is all, just a few leagues there and back. I’ll be as quick as
possible and if I leave now I should be back before dark. You keep wood on the
fire so you have the light and the warmth and I’ll be back before you know it!”
She eased her grip on his arm then and looked so forlorn that if he wasn’t
convinced this was the best course of action for her then he would’ve caved
then and there.
“Alright, you best go then.” She said trying to sound strong he was sure but
failing miserably. He didn’t know what else he could say to comfort her so
instead he just prepared himself and Stranger to head out, after all the sooner
he left the sooner he could get back to her.
*
He was leaving her, and it was taking all her concentration not to let panic
set in as she watched him walk out of the cave. She could hear as the horse’s
hooves got further away even from inside the cave and the quiet that followed
was the loudest silence she’d ever heard. She needed to keep busy or she’d
surely go mad on this day.
She took the pail of the now steaming water from the hearth and dumped some of
it into the washbasin. The water was so hot that she needed to let it sit and
cool down before she could dip her hands in it. While she was waiting she
finished brushing out her hair and braided it loosely so it would be out of her
way. She gathered Sandor’s soap out of his bag and grabbed the old cloth that
had been left in the basin and slowly got to work scrubbing down the walls and
floor of her new home. She had to dump and refill the basin five different
times before she was finally done.
Her arms and back ached from the hard work but she realized that the cleaning
had worked as a great distraction from her loneliness and fears. The walls
around her now gleamed as they hadn’t before and the floors were completely
free of dirt and prepared for the varnish that Sandor was buying hopefully
right now. She had no real way of knowing how long he’d been gone but she was
almost positive he should’ve at least made it to the town by now.
She realized that now that the cave was clean she was the one that was filthy
and she suddenly yearned for the tub Sandor had promised her instead she
stripped out of her filthy gown and small clothes and poured the last of the
clean water in the basin to slowly clean her dirty skin. When she felt she was
as clean as she could get she rummaged in her bags for one of her last few
remaining clean small clothes. Instead of reaching for a gown she went for her
favorite nightdress, feeling the desire to be comfortable and not having anyone
she needed to look presentable for, she quickly stepped into it. She went for
her book then before curling up on her bedroll by the fire to read. It wasn’t
long before she found herself drifting off.
When next she woke she had no idea how long she was out for but she slowly
climbed to her feet and went to the mouth of the cave. Darkness surrounded her
all around and the panic from earlier that she fought off was now back only
this time there was no fighting it.
He’d promised he’d be back before dark! He’d never broken his word to her
before. What if something happened to him? What if he was alone and hurt
somewhere? What if he never came back? Her mind was suddenly filled with
horrible things that could’ve happened to him and she realized she was shaking,
not from the cold wind that blew at her but at the thought of never seeing him
again.
*
Sandor arrived at the little town of Cornfield soon enough but the weather
seemed to get worse as the day went on and he knew it would take him longer on
the return trip. He had a cloth wrapped around his head because of the cold and
to help insure no one recognized him. The only one who paid him any attention
upon his arrival was a homeless dog that had clearly been surviving on the
streets for some time now.
With the recent snow fall and strong winds he was actually a little nervous
that combined with the extra weight of the wagon, Stranger would struggle
getting back to the cave so he made the decision he’d been secretly
contemplating for a while now. To purchase a second horse, one for his little
bird.
He settled on a tan and white courser that was a pretty thing and looked strong
and well taken care of. As soon as he purchased a simple wood wagon and secured
it to both stranger and the new horse he wasted no time in collecting
everything from the list and then some.
He only glanced at the paper Sansa had written everything on once and admired
her pretty scrolled handwriting but had no idea from looking at the paper what
was written on it and thanked any of the gods that even though he wasn’t a
smart man at least he’d been born with a good memory.
In addition to everything they’d talked about getting this morning he also got
two horse blankets instead of just the one, extra oats and hay for the extra
mouth they would be feeding. He got a couple thick soft blankets that he knew
Sansa would appreciate, three feather beds instead of two so that she could
have extra softness and warmth as well as a large sack of feathers and a large
sack of cotton to make pillows and padding. He found two towels they could use
to dry themselves off after their baths and when he went to get her sewing
supplies the seamstress that was selling them had an entire trunk full of scrap
cloth that she gave him for free, trunk and all and he knew Sansa would find
great use for the materials.
It was offered free of charge he was sure because of all the other purchases he
made there. He got his little bird another nightdress that he knew would be
warmer then the one she currently had as well as two shawls and warmer
slippers. He bought her winter boots and plenty of thick socks to keep her feet
warm and dry in the months ahead. He got her three new gowns that were made
especially for colder weather and two more smallclothes since he didn’t know
how many she packed. For himself he just got two more tunics, two breeches and
one heavier cloak.
When he went to buy their kitchen supplies and food he added a brazier and
grate to his pile to easier cook things over the fire with. He gathered a lot
more food then his little bird had asked for including a large chunk of dark
chocolate that he was excited to surprise her with.
As an added surprise he raided the local bookstore and with arms piled high of
every type of book, because he wasn’t sure what she liked, he was finally done
shopping and anxious to get back home.
He loaded the bales of hay, sacks of oats; trunk full of cloth, icebox full of
all their food and tub on the wagon first and then loaded everything else
inside the tub before covering it all with a tarp and securely tying everything
down.
He noticed the dog he’d spotted when he first arrived in town still looking at
him with sad eyes and he tried to shoo him away. As he started heading out of
town he noticed the dog following close behind. It was a bedraggled thing that
looked half starved and was in dire need of a bath and suddenly he stopped the
wagon and ran back to the feed store to purchase two large sacks of dog food.
He somehow knew the pitiful looking animal would bring great joy to his little
bird and the dog was in need of a home it would seem.
It was when he was just finishing his purchase of the dog food that he over
heard them. He probably wouldn’t have paid any attention except the Stark name
drifted to him immediately capturing his full attention.
**Spoiler**
“I swear to you, they actually sewed the wolf’s head onto Stark’s body. I guess
they wanted everyone to know what happens when you cross the Frey’s.”
“Yeah but that’s just so twisted. It’s one thing to slit that stark boys
throat, not only was he pretending at being a king but he also broke his word
to them, but to kill his mother too and then to sew his wolf’s head onto his
own body!” Another voice exclaimed.
Sandor had heard enough. He quickly grabbed the bags and hurried back to his
wagon. He had to drag in deep gulps of air to try and ease his suddenly sick
stomach. How in the hell was he supposed to tell Sansa that not only was her
brother dead, but her mother as well? She was an orphan now and to find this
out so soon after she found out about Winterfell and her younger brothers. This
could kill her! There wasn’t a chance in hell he’d tell her the more gruesome
details of her brother and mother’s demise, if they were even to be believed.
Hell maybe he shouldn’t tell her anything at all. She’d been through enough
these last months; he didn’t want to add to her despair.
**End of Spoiler**
With his mind made up he whistled the dog over and got him settled in the only
empty corner of the wagon before mounting up on Stranger and heading home. For
someone who’d led a solitary life his whole life, he was amazed at how much he
missed Sansa’s presence after only a few hours of being away from her.
It seemed to get dark quickly and soon it was pitch black out and he began to
worry about what Sansa might be thinking, hopefully she hadn’t even noticed it
had gotten dark yet. Their trek back was much slower then he anticipated, even
with the extra horse to pull the weight. The weather and terrain proved to be a
challenge and what should have taken them three hours time instead took over
four.
When at last they pulled up to their home Sandor quickly dismounted and turned
to go to the cave and reassure Sansa before worrying about unpacking their new
belongings. He only made it two steps before a streak of white came flying at
him. He caught her in his arms and held on as tightly as she seemed to be
holding onto him.
“Are you alright little bird?” He asked alarmed at how relieved she seemed to
be to see him. “Did something happen?” He tried looking her over before his
eyes grew round in shock. She was in a paper-thin nightdress with absolutely
nothing on her feet but snow.
“Are you out of your mind girl, you’ll catch your death out here!” He growled
down at her before lifting her up and out of the snow. Her legs immediately
came around his waist and to his utter shock she started kissing his scarred
jaw and cheek. They were feather light kisses peppered all over but they had
about the same effect on him as if she’d gone to her knees and taken his cock
into her mouth.
“You’re crazy!” He exclaimed, feeling the tight pressure in his breeches. His
words didn’t seem to have an effect on her as she worked her way closer to his
mouth without slowing down. He’d never kissed or been kissed before with one
exception, the kiss he’d stolen from her on that night that felt like a
lifetime ago. The night he pinned her down and scared her to death before
saving her from his own brother. And the anticipation was killing him.
She kissed everywhere but where he wanted her most, at times teasing him with
how close to his mouth she’d get before moving away again. He yearned to kiss
her back with his own ruined lips but something kept holding him back. Maybe it
was the fact that he’d stolen a kiss from her before and he wanted to give her
the freedom to do what she willed without his interference or maybe it was just
fear, fear of being rejected or humiliated or scaring her away.
“Little bird.” He whispered when her upper lip made contact with his lower lip.
She stopped then, looking into his eyes. She lifted her delicate hand up with
the softest touch he’d ever experienced in his entire life and ran her hand up
brushing it across his cheek and into his hair before bringing her mouth down
on his. It was a slow light caress, the sweetest and purist thing he’d ever
experienced and nothing like their last bruising kiss. He found his own hand
coming up to cradle the back of her head holding her in place as they sipped at
each other’s lips lost in the moment and in their own world.
His cock, which was already painfully hard, stretched into an even harder
tightness he didn’t think he’d ever felt before. He knew if there was any hope
of stopping this now was the time to do it. He was quickly reaching the point
of no return and just when he was about to pull away and end this madness he
felt her little tongue slip through her own plump lips and run against his half
burned ones. He jerked at the sensation but instead of jerking away he jerked
closer opening his own lips the slightest bit and giving her access to his
mouth. She didn’t seem to know what to do however and it was only when he
slipped his tongue into her hot mouth that she returned the favor.
He’d never experienced anything close to this heaven and though his entire body
was now burning for more he found himself unable to break this precious
contact. She tasted like sweet honey and he couldn’t get enough, he was
addicted and drowning in her and what a sweet death it would be.
It was her that finally jerked away from him when the damn dog decided to make
his presence known by letting out a loud bark. “Oh, gods!” She exclaimed
bringing her hand over her chest in shocked surprise at the loud sound.
“Come on, let me introduce you to the mongrel.” He said as a way of a
distraction. He needed a moment to get himself back under control and this was
as good of an excuse as any. He whistled for the dog to come over and the girl
tried to squirm out of his hold to get a better look at the floppy eared mutt
but he was having none of it, he was only now remembering how she was dressed,
or not dressed more accurately.
“Fuck, let me get you inside and out of the cold.”
The dog followed close on his heels circling excitedly as if he was carrying
his most favorite toy as he carried her back inside. When at last he set her on
her feet the dog immediately jumped on her trying to lick her face. She wasn’t
prepared for the weight and quickly went down hard and before he could react
the dog immediately started licking her face now that she was down at his
level. He jerked the dog back by the scruff of his neck, worried that she’d
gotten hurt.
“Are you alright little bird?” She just giggled and held out her arms for the
dog to be released again. As soon as he let him go the dog was back in Sansa’s
arms as if they were long lost friends. He was almost jealous of the attention
she was showing the mongrel before he shook himself and realized how stupid he
was being.
“I need to go unload the wagon and get the horses settled for the night little
bird, maybe I can entice this one to go for a dip in the lake while I’m at it.”
He said pointing to the filthy dog.
“Wait, horses? You got me a dog and a horse?” She asked with pure delight
lighting her features.
“You didn’t notice before? A horse is kind of hard to miss little bird.”
“I was too relieved to see you to pay attention to much else.” She said before
going back to scratching the dog’s ears. “What do you think we should name
her?” She asked looking at the dog.
“How do you know it’s a her?” He asked surprised and not sure why he’d assumed
it was a boy.
“Because she doesn’t have a, a, well you know! And she’s pregnant.” Came her
calm reply.
“Oh fuck!” Was all he could think to say only then noticing that even though
the dog was incredibly skinny her belly protruded out quite a bit.
***** Settle In *****
Chapter 10
Settle In
The next morning he woke up to Sadie licking his face and tried to swat her
away before he heard his little bird pipe up from across the room.
“Sadie, leave him be! Come here and help me girl.” Sandor popped his head up to
see what it was she thought the damn dog could help her with.
She immediately rushed to Sansa’s side, tail swishing through the air in her
excitement for the little bird to scratch her ears some more. Sansa didn’t
disappoint giving the dog a few minutes of her undivided attention all the
while talking to her as if she could actually understand what was being said.
“We’ll have to thank him again when he wakes up for everything he’s done for
us, not the least of which is giving you a bath and brush yesterday. You are
now the softest dog in all the land!” She exclaimed looking down on the dog
that was now on her back begging for her large tummy to be scratched. “Will you
help me pack my things girl?” She asked going to her bags.
“And where the hell do you think you’re going?” Came his sleep roughened voice.
“Oh Sandor, you scared me! I didn’t know you were awake.” She said looking to
the ground as if she were shy around him now that she’d kissed him.
“You didn’t answer my question, where do you think you’re going?”
“Oh that! I’m just trying to get a head start on clearing out the cave so we
can finish the floors. The sooner they’re finished the sooner we can bring all
our new things inside and truly get settled in.” She said before going back to
her task.
He had originally planned to unload their stuff last night but she’d proudly
informed him shortly after his arrival that she’d scrubbed down the floors
preparing them for the finish and he realized how much easier it would be if he
just left everything outside until the floors were done. All their purchases
still remain secured tightly to the wagon with the exception of what had
already been in the cave.
“Alright little bird, let’s do this! The floors will need most of the day to
dry anyway so we better get started now.”
About twenty minutes into the job Sandor had to send Sansa outside, one because
he didn’t want her breathing in the strong smell of the varnish that was even
now giving him a headache and the other was Sadie kept getting in his way and
the only way to keep her off the wet floor it seemed was to keep her out of the
cave so Sansa agreed to keep her distracted by throwing a stick for her outside
in the clean fresh air with strict instructions to remain within shouting
distance.
Once he was left to fully concentrate on the task at hand he was completely
finished a couple hours after he’d started. The floors were now a deep rich
shade of brown and gleamed in a nice polished finish that the likes of which
the finest castle hadn’t seen. It looked great he admitted to himself and was
well worth the work. He looked around at their empty home from the opening and
had to admire how truly clean and welcoming it looked before going and joining
Sansa and Sadie outside while they waited for it to dry.
It was a sunny day, the first sunny day they’d seen in a while and he was
relieved to see there was another foot of white fluffy snow covering the ground
since his return last night. That would mean the trail the wagon and horses
left leading from town would be covered up already.
He found the girl close to the shoreline of the lake laughing and running with
her new best friend seemingly without a care in the world. When she spotted him
she waved shyly his way and instead of going to her, taking her in his arms and
kissing the shyness off her face like he really wanted to do he grabbed the axe
and went to work chopping wood to add to their ever dwindling pile.
Hours later and with a mountain of a woodpile next to him he finally stopped to
rest. He looked up immediately seeking the location of Sansa and quickly found
her rubbing down her new horse. He hadn’t heard what she’d named her yet but he
had no doubt she’d thought of something by now.
“Little bird!” He yelled over to her. “Are you hungry?” He asked once he had
her attention. Nodding the girl slowly made her way over to his side. He spread
one of the tarps over the snow, offering her a place to sit without getting her
dress wet. “How bout some salted pork, nuts and berries?” He asked looking
through their large stash of food, piled high in their new icebox.
“Sounds wonderful!” She exclaimed as Sadie curled up next to her.
They were both settled in enjoying their meal when Sansa turned to face him.
For a moment his breath caught at the beauty before him. She had grown so much
over the past few months in more ways then one and he found himself truly
noticing her woman’s body. He may have kissed her twice now and held her form
in his arms on more then one occasion, hell he’d even had her teat in the palm
of his hand, but he’d never taken in her beauty as a whole before.
Under the sunlight her hair made a halo of red around her unblemished face. She
had skin that could pass as porcelain and her cheeks and the tip of her
delicate little nose were slightly pink from the cold. Her Tully blue eyes were
such a deeply intense blue he was pretty sure he could drown in them if he let
himself. Her lips were full and plump and the prettiest pink he’d ever seen on
a woman and he knew now they only grew fuller and darker after one of his
kisses. She had long, skinny limbs that he knew from experience could wrap
around his body, fitting to him perfectly. She had an arse that would just fill
the palms of his hands, a skinny, flat little waste that was probably smaller
then one of his large paws if he were to span them over her belly. She was
beautiful; the kind of beautiful men would kill or be killed over.
He thought of what they must look like together and had to shake his head. They
were worlds apart physically. Even if he didn’t have the nasty scar marring
half his face, no one would consider him a handsome man by any measure. The
only thing he had going for himself was his bulk and skill with a sword. He
bulged with muscle where other men didn’t even know muscle could grow and he
could and would keep her safe! No one would ever touch her again without first
losing their hand and then their lives in the process.
The differences between them didn’t stop there. Where she was smooth and soft,
he was rough and hard. Where she was sweet and innocent he was bitter and
jaded. She seemed to see the beauty and good in everything he only saw the
obscene and evil and even if Sansa could find some good in him she was a Stark.
Her bloodline could be tracked thousands of years back. She was born and raised
to be a lady. A good little wife to some highborn lord and engaged to marry the
bloody fucking king. A goddamn queen in the making! He was a Clegane, nothing
more then a damaged dog.
He had no idea why she’d kissed him after he returned last night but the more
he thought on it the more he realized it couldn’t have been from want. He was
her very livelihood right now and she had to know that. She must feel damn
indebted to him to sink to kissing his scarred mouth of her own free will.
He’d been so into the feeling of her soft warm lips so sweet on his own he
didn’t stop to think of the why of it until now and in the cold hard light of
day with her beauty literally staring him in the face he finally figured it
out. He could have her; she’d let him have her. He could take her as his own
over and over again anywhere, anytime he wanted. He could find sweet oblivion
in that perfect body of hers whether her heart willed it or not, she would not
fight him physically or otherwise.
She was completely vulnerable to him and for the first time in his life he
realized how much power he held in his hands, whether he would use it or not he
could not say. The Hound in him wouldn’t hesitate so something else must be
holding him back and until he could figure out what that something was he
didn’t want to do anything he couldn’t take back.
“I don’t know how I can ever repay you for everything.” He whipped his head up
at her words and for a moment wondered if she’d read his thoughts and as all
the images of how she could repay him played out in his mind he decided to
screw caution and let the Hound take over.
*
Oblivious to her companion’s dark thoughts she studied his large form from
behind lowered lashes trying to memorize all his features. He looked so big and
strong she felt as if nothing bad could happen to her as long as he was there.
She thought back on the days when she was scared to look upon his scarred face
and almost laughed out loud when she thought of how much comfort she now found
in seeing him and having him close. He may not be a white knight but she’d
learned the hard way that he was something far better. He was her protector and
savior and her growing feelings for him were maddeningly confusing to her.
Were the light almost weightless flutters that came to her stomach when she
thought of him and their kiss love or something else? Why did she get warm and
tingly wherever his eyes touched her when he was looking her over with one of
his hungry gazes? Did he love her? Why would he save her, protect her and try
so hard to please her all the time if it wasn’t love? So many questions she had
without anyone to answer them except Sandor of course and she wasn’t about to
ask him any of these questions, she could just imagine his reaction if she did.
She wanted to thank him for everything he’d done for her so far but she didn’t
know how. He risked his life to get her out of King’s Landing, faced his beast
of a brother to protect her and offered her a safe place to get away from
everyone who wished her harm, giving her a home when she had none in the
process and providing her with everything she could possibly need along the
way. How could she possibly thank him for all that?
“I don’t know how I can ever repay you for everything.” She said then voicing
her thoughts out loud. His gaze shot to hers and his look suddenly became
predatory.
“You’ll thank me tonight!” He growled out before getting up and going back into
the cave. Whatever did he mean? She thought to herself before she heard his
returning footsteps in the snow. “The floor’s dry. I’m going to unload the
contents of the wagon if you’d put things away where you want them girl.” Her
previous confusion at his earlier statement forgotten with the excitement of
getting everything settled into their new home, she jumped up with Sadie close
at her heels and went to do as she was bid.
It felt like all her name day’s rolled into one. With every load Sandor carried
in there was another surprise for her it seemed. From the brand new sparkly
tub, to the large bar of chocolate she’d already snuck a nibble of when he
wasn’t looking, to all the books she was eagerly awaiting a free moment to
read. She hadn’t expected all the new clothes he’d bought her or all the
luxurious bedding she was excited to crawl into tonight and that wasn’t even
counting her two biggest surprises of all, her precious Sadie and her brand new
horse Sally.
When he carried a large wood trunk in full of various fabrics in various colors
she became giddy with excitement of all the possibilities especially after
Sandor showed her the new needlework equipment he’d purchased. It was of finer
quality then she’d had, even in King’s Landing! She could contain herself no
longer and jumped into Sandor’s arms kissing him full on the lips before
jumping down and returning to unpacking and trying to find a home for
everything.
She was bent over the trunk of fabrics trying to organize everything when she
heard Sandor move directly behind her. “Take off your dress.” She froze at his
words, thinking she’d somehow misheard him though he spoke loud and clear only
a couple feet from her. She swallowed hard before standing and turning to face
him.
***** Home and Hound *****
Chapter Notes
     Like chapter 9 this chapter makes a couple references to the "red
     wedding" which is a major spoiler from George R.R. Martin's A Song of
     Ice and Fire series. If you don't know what that is and don't want to
     please don't read the two areas I marked with **Spoiler** and **End
     of Spoiler**.
Chapter 11
Home and Hound
“Take off your dress.” It was a command not a request and he saw the girl
freeze for a long moment before turning to face him.
“I beg pardon.” She said folding her hands in front of her like the prim and
proper thing she was.
“I said take off your dress.” When she didn’t comply just stared at him as if
he’d grown an extra head he continued. “You wanted to repay me for everything
I’ve done for you right? This is what I choose.” When she just continued to
look at him as if she’d never seen him he got angry. “You’ve been mighty quick
to kiss me girl, where exactly did you expect those kisses to go or were you
just teasing me with what I can’t have?”
“I don’t understand. You want me to, to, to…Because I kissed you, you expect me
to…” her voice trailed off before she whispered the next part “whore myself?”
The words had barely left her mouth when he was upon her gripping her arms so
tightly they would probably bruise. “Don’t you ever call yourself that again,
you’re no bloody whore!” He exclaimed shaking her slightly.
“Then why do you treat me as such?” She asked as tears started forming in her
eyes. It was then he realized, she trusted him, the bloody little fool actually
trusted him. Not just his ability to protect her and provide for her but as a
woman alone with a man and he’d just damaged that trust. He could actually feel
it crack and shatter around them as her first tear fell.
He let her go as if he’d been burned. He hated himself in this moment and could
no longer meat her hurt gaze. He wanted to call it all back as if it had never
been but he was powerless in the face of it now. She was backing away from him,
fear in her eyes that he’d never wanted to see again.
“Sansa.” He whispered and stepped towards her desperate for her forgiveness.
She just backed further away from him until her back was at the wall of the
cave. He stopped frozen to the spot, not wanting to scare her more for
anything. He went to his knees then, in the middle of their cave saying the
first thing that came to his mind. “I won’t hurt you.” It was all he could
think to say and do to ease her fears.
“You just did.” She whispered back as she cried harder. He felt a burning
sensation in his chest at her words and her tears and he didn’t know what to do
or how to make any of it right again.
“I don’t know how to be a good man!” He exclaimed without thought, feeling a
curious stinging in his eyes.
A few beats of his heart passed before she stopped crying and stepped toward
him. He was afraid to move, afraid to even breath as she slowly approached his
kneeling form. When she stopped directly in front of him he inhaled in her
sweet scent and looked up at her tear stained face fully expecting her to hit
him or yell at him. When he felt her arms around his shoulders pulling him into
a tight hold he could no longer remain still. He wound his own large arms
around her tiny waste and held on for dear life, his face buried in her stomach
as he cried for the first time since his brother melted half his face away. She
sang to him then, as she rocked him back and forth, he thought it was the
mother’s hymn but he couldn’t be sure because he was too lost in her warmth for
it to matter.
He felt like a little boy yearning for and soaking up the comfort that she
offered, the comfort he’d never known in his life, the comfort he sure as hell
didn’t deserve from her. He gave her his heart in that moment, or whatever was
left of it. He was hers from this time forward in anyway she needed or wanted.
He would never put his needs before hers again or cause her a second more of
fear.
The powerless feeling that overcame him was both foreign and welcome for he
knew he’d never know another moment without her. He’d bleed for her, die for
her, kill for her; he’d do anything, absolutely anything she demanded of him.
**Spoiler**
“Maybe you should take me to my brother.” She said after she’d completed her
pretty song looking everywhere but at him. He flinched as if she’d struck him
because not only would it mean they would have to leave this place that he was
coming to realize had become their home but she’d asked for something he could
not deliver. Her brother was dead, as was her mother but he’d kept that from
her believing her too weak to hear the truth. He was the weak one he realized
but still he kept his mouth closed unable to deliver the heartbreaking news.
**End of Spoiler**
“Sansa you have my word, I will never try to force you to do something you
don’t want to do. Please believe me.” She finally looked down and met his
intense gaze.
“You scare me sometimes.” She said and shook her head as if to dispel whatever
she’d been thinking. “I want to believe you. I want to trust you but every time
I try you change as if you’ve been pretending to be someone you’re not, almost
as if you’re two completely different men and I’m just not sure which is the
real you.”
“I’m both men little bird, but I swear on my life neither man will hurt you
again.” At his vow she went to her knees so that she was at his level and
kissed him as he always dreamed she’d kiss him without hesitation, full of
passion and to his utter shame, desperation and he felt sick to his stomach
that she felt she needed to. “No little bird.” He said jerking his head away
from her searching lips. “You don’t have to repay me certainly not like this,
not at all. Everything I’ve done and all of this…” he said waving to all of
their new supplies still scattered about the cave. “I wanted to do this for
you, for us.”
“Oh Sandor.” She breathed out, tears once again filling her beautiful blue
eyes. “I’ve never kissed you for any other reason than I wanted to.”
*
“Oh Sandor. I’ve never kissed you for any other reason than I wanted to.” Her
heart nearly broke at his mystified look as if that thought had never crossed
his mind. “I may even give myself to you one day but it won’t be as payment for
something. Do you understand?” When he shook his head whether in denial or
because he didn’t understand at all she just sighed in heartbreak and defeat.
Sadie chose that moment to come over and land a sloppy kiss across her cheek,
licking the salty tears away. She finally broke her gaze away from the broken
man still on his knees not sure what more she could say or do to convince him.
So instead she got up and went to feed Sadie.
She finally heard him slowly get to his own feet behind her but he made no more
movements for a long while. She decided to break the silence hoping to tell him
without so many words that she forgave him and wanted to forget what he’d
expected her to do. “What shall we have for dinner tonight?”
“Are you hungry little bird?” He asked then and rushed to his bow and arrows.
“I can go hunting, I’ll bring you back anything you want!” He exclaimed as he
rushed around the cave trying to gather all his necessary supplies.
“But it’s dark out Sandor, can’t we just dine on fish again? You could hunt
tomorrow, besides I wanted to try some of these spices out on the lake trout.”
“Of course little bird, I’ll go fishing. How many would you like?”
“One will do just fine for me and however many you’d like.”
“Alight, I’ll be right back. And Sansa…” he said and hesitated. “I just…” after
hesitating again Sansa grabbed one of his large hands in both of hers.
“I know. It’s okay.” And with that, it seemed both of them had said enough.
Once her belly was full her eyes refused to stay open, sleep beckoned her but
Sandor had made multiple trip to the lake to fill their two pails of water and
warm them by the fire and he’d just informed her, her bath was ready. He had
earlier erected two floor-to-ceiling large wood poles next to the tub and cut
up one of their tarps to make a curtain and offer privacy to whoever was
bathing. So Sansa shuffled over behind the curtain and removed all her clothes
before crawling into the warm water that lapped at her chin. She couldn’t
believe he’d filled the tub so deep but she admitted to herself it felt
heavenly. She could actually feel as her tight muscles relaxed and the last of
her stress drained away. She didn’t know if she had the energy to wash herself
so she just soaked away and let her eyes drift shut.
*
He knew she must have fallen asleep, he could hear no movement from the other
side of the curtain and though he was loathe to wake her, he was worried she’d
slip under the water and since he didn’t think she’d appreciate him picking her
up out of the tub and carrying her to bed buck naked he wasn’t about to go and
get her out of the tub himself. “Sansa, wake up!” He exclaimed before hearing
her jerk awake.
“Oh goodness, I fell asleep. Oh I’m sorry Sandor, I’ve let the water cool and
I’m sure you wanted a nice hot bath too.”
“It’s fine little bird, let’s just get you to bed.”
“Oh, I forgot to grab my night dress before coming in here, would you mind
grabbing it for me?”
“Of course, would you like your old one or the new one I got you?”
“The one you got me please. Oh you’re the best.” She said as he hung it over
the top of the curtain. He didn’t understand how she could refer to him as the
best after his actions towards her. He could hear her as she stepped out of the
water and he saw when she grabbed her nightdress from where it hung and shortly
after she was stepping out from around the curtain.
“It’s all yours!” She exclaimed before going to where all their new bedding was
still rolled up and stacked on the floor. “I’ll make our bed while you bathe.”
She said and he went to do just that.
When he came back out she had all three of their feather beds piled on top of
each other in front of the fire making one large bed. She had their two new
blankets the same way and when he saw that she was already sound asleep he
crawled in beside her but kept a respectful distance away from her sleeping
form. This was without a doubt the most comfortable bed he’d ever slept in and
that was his last coherent thought before he too drifted off.
*
She was dreaming. It felt so real but she knew it was a dream because Bran was
there along with his great direwolf, Summer. She also assumed it wasn’t real
because everything had an eerie green glow to it.
She was following both Bran and Summer and she was so happy to see Bran walking
in the dream and not immobilized due to the injury he received all those months
ago. She tried calling out to them to gain their attention but they just kept
walking further and further away until Sansa had to run to keep up with them.
They stopped suddenly and both turned to her in unison. She could feel how cold
the wind was around her and the ground beneath her feet but all that was
forgotten when Bran smiled at her and started talking. When he had completed
his tale she stood mouth open in shock and suddenly she wasn’t so sure this was
a dream after all.
**Spoiler**
If Bran was to be believed then not only was he still alive but little Rickon
too. Joy filled her heart before despair when he informed her that mother and
Robb had been killed by the Frey’s but he refused to tell her why or how and
she supposed it didn’t matter, knowing wouldn’t bring them back. When he
suddenly said he had to leave Sansa panicked, she didn’t want him to leave her
but he just smiled at her and informed her she was where she needed to be and
with who she needed to be with.
**End of Spoiler**
As his image slowly faded so did the green that had tinged her sight and the
cold from earlier came back full force making her shiver and shake. She
realized that she was out in the snow in the middle of the night, not tucked
into her warm bed next to Sandor and when she heard the ground crack and give
beneath her feet she gave a startled cry before ice cold water came up to meet
her.
She’d never felt this kind of cold before and it stole her breath. She came
sputtering up to the surface and had to take quick shallow gasps of air to try
and get her breath back before yelling for help. She thought she heard Sadie
barking near by and when she turned to spot her on the shore of the lake, she
realized how far out she was.
She tried to grab a hold of the ice’s edge and pull herself up but every time
she grabbed it more ice would just break away. Panic was setting in and
desperation with each tried and failed attempt and she was quickly running out
of energy and struggling to keep her head above the water. “Sadie, go get
Sandor!” She yelled before slipping under completely.
***** Family *****
Chapter Notes
     This should be the last chapter that references the "Red Wedding" so
     one last time look out for **Spoiler** if you don't already know or
     want to know what that is in George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and
     Fire series.
Chapter 12
Family
Sandor woke from a dead sleep to Sadie crying and barking in his ear. “What the
hell?” He grumbled trying to push her away and shush her. “Sansa what the hell
is wrong with Sadie?” He asked turning over to look at Sansa, but she wasn’t
there. He looked around the cave but she wasn’t anywhere. His first instinct
was to panic and when he spotted Sansa’s boots still laying where she’d left
them and Sadie kept carrying on he went with his instinct and quickly jumped up
from the warm bed donning his tunic and boots before rushing out into the wind
and snow.
“Sansa!” He yelled though the wind caught it and carried it away before it
could make it far. He was looking in every direction trying to look at all the
tracks in the snow from earlier today and figure out what the most recent set
was before Sadie actually bit down on his hand and pulled him forward. “Alright
girl, alright. Where is she?” He was surprised when she led him to the edge of
the lake and even more surprised to see a thin layer of ice now covering the
surface. When he spotted a hole that had recently been broken away with no
Sansa in sight his heart stopped. “No, oh god no!” He exclaimed before rushing
into the frigid water, breaking the ice away as he went. When he was just a few
feet away from where the hole was he started diving under the water, trying to
feel for her slight form.
“Sansa!” He bellowed out each time he surfaced though he knew she wouldn’t be
conscious to hear him. He wasn’t a religious man and never had been but as he
started to feel his own limbs getting weighed down by lethargy, he started to
pray. He would die in this lake before he would leave Sansa behind, he knew it
with every fiber of his being and the longer he was in the freezing depths
searching for her the more likely he figured that scenario to be.
He had lost count of how many times he’d dived down and resurfaced when he
finally felt her. He wound his arms tightly around her waste and kicked up to
the surface. He looked down on her pretty face as he kicked his way to the
shoreline and was shocked at how blue she was, especially those lips he loved
so much!
The second he made it to solid ground he laid her down and started pumping on
her chest. Every time he did more water would come streaming from between her
lips and down her cheeks. When at last no more water was coming out he opened
her mouth and started pushing his own breath into her body. He had to change
the angle of her head a couple of times but when he saw her chest rise he knew
he was doing it correctly and getting air where it needed to be. It seemed he
pumped her chest and breathed for her for an eternity before she finally
coughed up what looked like an entire flagon of water and started breathing on
her own. She didn’t wake however and so he quickly carried her back inside
tearing her wet clothes from her as he went.
Her body was bare to his view but he didn’t really notice, too focused on the
fact that she was still blue and unconscious. He had her in the bed with Sadie
and the blankets wrapped tightly around her before he stripped himself of his
own wet clothes and stood by the fire to warm himself. It wasn’t until he was
sure the chill was gone from his flesh before he crawled into bed and curled
himself around Sansa sharing his heat with her. “Wake up pretty bird, please
wake up for me.” He whispered in her ear snuggling as close to her as he could
get.
*
“Wake up pretty bird, please wake up for me.” She could hear his gruff voice as
if from a great distance but she’d recognize it anywhere. Her whole body hurt,
from her head to her feet but her Sandor was with her, she’d be okay. She tried
to do as he bid but her body wasn’t cooperating and the darkness claimed her
once again.
When next she heard his voice it was more insistent then it had been before and
with the exception of a burning in her chest the rest of her felt better then
before. “Sansa, I need you to wake up, come on let’s see those pretty blue
eyes.” He said as her eyes fluttered open to find him leaning over her.
“Sandor, what happened?” Her voice came out more like a croak and it brought on
a coughing fit from her before she was finally able to hear his explanation.
“I don’t know how little bird but you somehow ended up in the lake. If it
wasn’t for Sadie here.” He said pointing to the dog that was currently curled
against her side that was unoccupied by Sandor.
She gasped as she remembered her dream then. “Bran!” She exclaimed. “He came to
me in my dream, he’s alive Sandor, him and Rickon are both alive.”
“Little bird it was just a dream.” He said sadly.
**Spoiler**
“No, it was real but he said my brother Robb and mother were killed. I’m the
oldest Stark now.” She said and felt him stiffen at her words. “What is it?
What’s wrong?” She asked.
“You’re mom and brother are gone little bird, that much is true.”
**End of Spoiler**
“What, how do you know?”
“When I was in town I overheard two men talking in the feed store. I didn’t
know how to tell you. I didn’t want to see you hurt.” He said looking warily
down on her as if he expected her to react badly, when she did nothing he
continued. “That doesn’t mean your brothers are alive though little bird. You
heard what that couple said by the springs, they had no reason to lie to us and
besides if your brother Bran was alive how could he have come to you in your
dreams?”
“I don’t know, maybe you’re right. Even if they are alive they’re far away and
I have no way of knowing when or if I’ll ever see them again.” She said glumly.
“I have you though and Sadie and Stranger and Sally.” She said trying to sound
more positive. “You’ll be my family now.”
*
“You’ll be my family now.” It was said as a statement not a question but he
still felt the need to reply.
“Aye, I’m your family now.”
“And I’m yours?” This time it was a question and he found himself fully aware
of the magnitude of his next words, he’d never made any vows or sworn any
fealty to anyone or anything but he didn’t hesitate as his next words came to
his lips, not even for a moment. “Aye little bird, I’m yours and your mine for
as long as you’ll have me or until my dying day.” He didn’t bother saying her
dying day for if she was taken from him, it would soon become his dying day as
well.
They said nothing more for a few minutes and as Sansa shifted beneath him he
could tell right when she realized she was naked beneath the covers as her eyes
grew big with shock. “Sandor!” She exclaimed before asking, “Are we naked?”
“Aye, little bird.” He said shifting away from her before continuing. “But I
promise it was necessary to get you warm. Nothing inappropriate happened.” She
peeked under the covers then before turning a bright shade of red.
“I don’t have a stitch on! You saw me naked as my name day?” She squealed out
before putting her hand to her head as if it were the worst thing that’d ever
happened to her.
“Now calm down little bird, I’ve seen plenty of women naked before and I wasn’t
really paying attention, worried as I was at the time!”
“Oh gods! Did I see you naked too?” She asked then.
“Um no, but I suppose you could if you wanted. Fair’s fair after all!” When he
went to remove the blankets from around him Sansa quickly stayed his hand.
“No, no that’s quite alright!” She exclaimed still clearly flustered. “You see
unlike you, I have not seen plenty of men naked before and as I’m quite sure my
heart is about to beat it’s way out of my chest at the mere thought of it I
think it best we just remain as we are while I calm down a bit.”
“Alright.” He said now fighting back a laugh as he noticed how deeply red she
could blush.
“Don’t you dare!” She exclaimed obviously noticing his fight not to laugh.
He put his hands in the air before saying. “I’m not doing anything.” But he
couldn’t quite get it out without throwing his head back with laughter.
“You’re laughing at me!” She exclaimed full of false anger but he could see the
smile on her lips now. She waited patiently as he laughed his fill and when it
finally died down he actually had tears in his eyes from the mirth. “I’m glad
you find me and our predicament amusing sir!” She said full of false
indignation.
“I don’t see a predicament little bird, we’re both warm, dry, completely naked
and alone in bed together. Where’s the problem?” He said teasing her some more.
“Alright fine, two can play at this game.” She exclaimed before whipping the
covers off herself and traipsing over to her bags to grab her only dry
nightdress.
That sure as hell stopped his laughter.
*
She couldn’t believe she’d actually done it! She felt exhilarated somehow and
when she looked over her shoulder to see what his reaction was to her daring
the expression on his face made her realize this was no longer a game.
Pure longing now clouded his features and she had to suppress a shudder at the
want she saw there. She had already made it to her bag and had her nightdress
clutched in her hand with every intention of donning it quickly but that look
froze her to the spot as surely as if her feet had grown roots and planted
themselves into the floor.
He cleared his throat and she could see him swallow multiple times before he
finally found his voice. “You best get dressed now little bird.” When she
didn’t move to comply he tried again. “Little bird please. Remember when I said
I don’t know how to be a good man? Well I’m trying to learn for you but I’m
still just a man and I only have so much control.” He said it so calmly that it
was in direct opposition from the almost frantic look in his eyes.
“You are a good man Sandor.” She said and instead of donning her nightdress she
dropped it back down and made her way over to the bed and the tense man in it.
“I trust you.” She said grabbing his hand that was currently clenched in the
bedding. She entwined their fingers together as soon as she got him to
relinquish his hold on the blanket.
“Why the hell would you trust me?” He said trying to shake her hand off but she
was having none of it, he obviously needed to hear this.
“Because that’s what you do when you love someone I suppose!” And before she
could say more he grabbed her arm and hauled down on the bed next to him now
looming above her.
“You couldn’t possibly love me little bird, I’m not worthy of your love.”
“Oh you’re the most worthy man I’ve ever met and if your worst quality is that
you want me so badly you have a hard time controlling that want around me then
I suppose I can consider myself a lucky woman.”
“You are out of your mind girl. You’re just a child who obviously doesn’t know
better. Do you have any idea what a dog like me could do to a little thing like
you?”
“Well I know you can protect me, and keep me safe, and you may not feel the
same way about me yet but hopefully one day you can love me back!” He just
shook his head as if he were fighting with himself now.
“Fuck girl I can protect you and keep you safe without loving you. And without
fucking you.” He said the last as if it had been an afterthought.
“So you don’t think you could ever love me?” She asked suddenly feeling very
exposed and vulnerable in front of him. Oh gods what must he think of her now
throwing herself at him this way. She could feel the tears gathering and she
fought them off with everything she had. He’d seen enough of her tonight; he
didn’t need to see that too.
“This isn’t a fairytale little bird, I don’t know how else to tell you that.”
He pulled up the blanket from next to him and slowly covered her slight body
from his view.
*
“This isn’t a fairytale little bird, I don’t know how else to tell you that.”
He saw the pain in her eyes and he felt like a bastard kicking some helpless
creature but for once in his miserable life he was trying to do the right
thing, the selfless thing.
This cave was only temporary damn it. One day they’d have to rejoin the rest of
Westeros and then what?
She couldn’t possibly understand what she was doing if she was willing to give
the likes of him her maidenhead. But he knew! He knew exactly what the price
would be for her down the road when everyone else found out a lady like her
bedded a dog like him and he couldn’t allow it, he wouldn’t allow it! He’d
promised himself that her needs would come before his own and he aimed to keep
that promise, even if it killed him!
***** Love *****
Chapter 13
Love
It was official; she didn’t understand the opposite sex at all! She had been so
sure Sandor loved her or at least could love her one day but maybe he was
right. Maybe she was still just a scared naïve little girl with her head in the
clouds and her nose still buried in her fairytale stories. She did know herself
though and she knew she was in love with Sandor Clegane. The stubborn
insufferable man he was and whether or not he could or would ever return her
feelings, nothing would change that fact.
Once she had gotten over the embarrassment of the moment she realized she
didn’t regret being honest about her feelings, she was simply telling him what
was in her heart after all. What she regretted was doing it while she was
completely naked! What had she been thinking anyway? The only logical
explanation was that she had a momentary bout of insanity brought on by her
near death experience!
The next couple of weeks went by without incident. They both tried to keep busy
during the days. She spent her time first making Sadie a large bed before
starting on pillows for the new bed as well as pillows and pads for the stone
bench. She’d just finished braiding a large round rug to cover the center of
the floor of the cave adding one more layer to keep the chill off her feet when
she walked barefoot. She was currently working on a large patchwork quilt for
the bed and she was excited to present it to Sandor once it was finished.
Sandor on the other hand spent most of his time outdoors either hunting,
fishing or making furniture pieces for their home. He had started with their
large bed which had taken a miracle on her part to convince him should be one
large bed instead of two smaller beds and after much begging and pleading and
even a bout of tears on her part he finally agreed and now they had a grand bed
made of sturdy wood that they both slept in like babies.
Shortly after he finished with the bed he’d made a chest of drawers to hold all
of their kitchen supplies so they wouldn’t have to keep them on the floor any
longer. His latest masterpiece had been a gorgeous tall wardrobe for her to
hang her clothes in, she now had all her gowns and nightdresses hung and
everything else folded neatly in the bottom drawer.
He was currently working on some cabinets that he wanted to mount above their
chest of drawers in the kitchen, offering them even more storage space and once
that was completed he would build them a larger dining table, this time a
rectangular one that fit in front of the bench better. He’d also mentioned
wanting to build a couple chairs and a nightstand. At this point she figured he
was just looking for excuses to remain outside and away from her.
The little cave of theirs was truly becoming a home and she had to sigh when
she wistfully wished that they were becoming more of a family along with it.
Sadie was still her shadow and went everywhere she did but she was fast
approaching the end of her pregnancy and Sansa could tell she was moving slower
and felt more uncomfortable as time went by. Soon puppies would be running
about their feet and she smiled at the thought.
Her lovely horse Sally and her had been getting to know one another lately too.
Sandor had even taken her out riding a couple of days back and she could still
feel the cool breeze on her cheeks as Sally took her for a quick run in the
snow. Everything was going great, everything except her relationship with
Sandor it seemed.
It had become his habit to wake up before her and spend his entire day out of
the cave doing anything and everything as long as it was away from her. He’d go
on long hunting trips only coming back when he had so much meat they didn’t
know what to do with it all. Their icebox was now stuffed to the brim and when
he wasn’t hunting he was making furniture telling her in no uncertain terms
that she needed to keep out of his way claiming she could get hurt.
On her part when she wasn’t sewing or knitting she was cleaning or trying to
learn how to cook though it was made harder to learn now that she was banned
from any and all knives after she sliced her hand open not once, but twice
while trying to cut something for their dinner. Sandor had even gone so far as
to hide the knives from her which infuriated her to no end, after all how was
she supposed to learn to use them if she couldn’t even find them and when she
asked Sandor as much he just patted her head as if she were a child and told
her he was to do the cutting and that was that.
She was at her whit’s end with the man, he was truly going to drive her to an
early grave or a mad house she wasn’t sure which yet. Speaking of which, the
very same insufferable man that plagued her thoughts was finally returning for
the night it seemed.
“Sansa, have you seen my fishing line?” He grumbled as soon as he walked in.
“Hello to you too Sandor.” She said and kept right on sewing.
“Hello little bird, now do you know where my fishing line is?”
“I think we have plenty of meat Sandor do you really need to go fishing now?
It’s almost dinner time.”
“Was that a yes or a no?” He asked with an arched brow.
Sansa sighed before putting down the quilt and needle. “Maybe I do and maybe I
don’t.”
“Is this about the damn knives again?”
“Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t.” She said going to their new large washbasin
in the kitchen area. She used it for cleaning dirty dishes and to wash her
hands before preparing their meals. The big oaf stomped after her and she did
her level best to ignore him.
“Damn it Sansa, I did that for your own good and I’m sure your hands are
thanking me for it whether you are or not. Now where the hell did you put my
line?”
She turned to face him then with a falsely sweet smile on her face. “You tell
me where the knives are and I’ll tell you where the line is.”
With that he just narrowed his eyes at her and threw his hands up in the air.
“Bloody women.” She thought she heard him grumble under his breath. “Fine you
win.” She thought he meant he was going to let her use the knives again until
he continued. “I won’t fish tonight. But come tomorrow morning you best produce
that line or your arse will pay the price.” She flushed at his words and at the
thought of him spanking her before shrugging her shoulders as if she could care
a less about his threat.
“I mean it damn it. You see this hand here?” He said pointing to his own
massive hand. “It could do quite a bit of damage to that little arse of yours.”
When she refused to reply but simply turned back to the washbasin again he
huffed out an exasperated breath. “I’m the man of this hou…cave damn it and
what I say goes and I say you’ll stop these childish games of yours, because
I’m not amused.” That did it! She went from amused from his outburst to mad and
whirled around to face him before he’d even finished his sentence.
“I’m not the one that started this particular childish game mister!” She
exclaimed jamming her index finger into his rock solid chest. “You are, with
your little stunt of hiding the knives from me, the knives I need to learn how
to use. Without that skill I can only half prepare our meals. Do I ask you to
only finish half of the furniture? No I don’t. You have your tasks that I leave
to you and I have my tasks that you insist on interfering with. I’m not made of
glass Sandor!” She exclaimed then running out of steam.
“No you’re a flesh and blood woman that has sliced open her hand twice now, I
will not allow you to harm yourself.” At his words and stubbornness she felt
like screaming her frustration but she’d been on a campaign to prove to Sandor
that she wasn’t a child anymore and she thought letting a high pitched squeal
out right now may be counter productive to her efforts.
“That’s it, Sadie and I are going for a walk!” She said suddenly needing to get
away from the infuriating man and into fresh air.
“Oh no you’re not, it’s almost dark out. You can go for a walk tomorrow
morning!” He exclaimed grabbing onto her arm as she tried to move past him.
“I don’t recall asking for permission now release my arm sir.” She said really
finding it taxing to hold onto her temper now.
He narrowed his eyes at her and released her arm. “You’re going to be stubborn
about this aren’t you?” She just narrowed her eyes right back at him.
“I’m just going for a walk, you’re the one being stubborn!” She said heading to
the mouth of the cave, Sadie at her heels.
Maybe this hadn’t been such a good idea she thought to herself twenty minutes
later as she walked in circles trying to figure out which way she’d come from.
It had gotten dark out a lot sooner then she thought it would and now her and
Sadie were alone in the dark. At first she’d thought it would be easy to make
her way back, all she had to do was follow her own tracks in the snow but she
hadn’t counted on the wind that had blown the snow so much she could no longer
find them. She was trying to figure out what in the heck she should do when she
heard approaching footsteps. She was about to hide behind a large tree when
Sadie let out a loud bark and she knew there would be no hiding now from
whoever was coming.
She heard his voice before she saw him and she didn’t know whether to feel
relief or frustration. “Maybe next time you’ll listen to me girl.” If it
weren’t for his condescending tone she probably would’ve gone with relief but
after the way he said it she went with full on frustration.
Heck with acting like an adult! If he insisted on treating her like a child she
could certainly act like one. She marched straight up to him and shoved him
with all her might only getting angrier when that didn’t even budge the big
man. “Why” she panted out as she pushed him again “do” another push “you”
another shove “have” and another “to be” when she realized he wasn’t moving
even an inch she started pounding at his chest instead “so obnoxious!”
*
“Why do you have to be so obnoxious?” The girl asked as she did her level best
to push him away and when that didn’t work she took to pummeling his chest.
She was madder then he’d given her credit for and though he had no idea why she
had gotten herself into such a state of frustration with him he couldn’t take
his eyes off of her. God but she was beautiful when she was angry. The color
was high on her cheeks, her chest was heaving and her eyes sparkled with anger.
He wondered if she’d bite him if he tried to kiss her right now and quickly
gave himself a mental shake. He’d made his decision, she was not for the likes
of him and the sooner they both realized that the better off they’d both be.
And that meant no more kissing damn it!
He still couldn’t quite believe she fancied herself in love with him though
knowing Sansa he probably shouldn’t be so surprised. Anyone who would’ve saved
her and taken her away from her golden cage in King’s Landing would’ve become a
knight in shining armor in her eyes, even a scarred, rude and gruff old dog
like him. Add to that the fact that he found her a safe place to stay when she
had no where else to go and he looked after her when she had no one else for
the job, well in her mind what she thought was love he knew was only her
feeling grateful and beholden to him and he wasn’t about to risk her life and
her future because she was confused and willing to jump into bed with him over
that confusion.
“What has you so upset child?” He asked then and you would’ve thought he’d
called her a filthy name for the reaction that question got him. For the first
time since he’d known her she actually started yelling at him.
“I’m not a child Sandor! Stop treating me as one! I don’t know what more I can
possibly do to make you realize I’m a woman now.” She screamed before stomping
in the opposite direction of home.
So that’s what this had all been about! As if he needed a reminder she was a
fucking woman, he couldn’t even be in the same room with her without getting
the hard on from hell. She actually thought he didn’t respect her or didn’t
want her and neither one could be further from the truth. Maybe it was past
time for him to be honest about why he didn’t take what she’d offered that
night two weeks ago. It would hurt his pride to list all the reasons he wasn’t
good enough for her but if it would put her mind at ease then it would be well
worth it to him.
“Sansa where are you going?” He said jogging to catch up with her.
“Home.” She replied without breaking stride.
“Home to the cave?” He asked only for her to stop and whirl on him.
“Yes home to the cave. I was unaware I had any other home.”
“It’s just the cave is that way.” He said pointing in the opposite direction
she’d been going.
“I knew that.” She said after a long hesitation but he could see by the sudden
blush on her face that he’d embarrassed her. When she went to get past him, now
going in the correct direction, he grabbed onto her arm.
“Sansa I think there’s something we need to get straight.” When she offered no
resistance to either his hold on her arm or that they needed to talk he rushed
to continue. “I know damn good and well you’re not a child anymore and if you
think I don’t see you as the beautiful woman you’ve become then you’re wrong.
Any man would be lucky to have you, I just can’t be that man.”
“I don’t understand, I thought you wanted me!”
“I do want you, I want you until I can’t fucking see straight.”
“You just don’t love me. So what I’m good enough to, to, to fuck but not to
love, is that it?” She said in a shaky voice and he would’ve smiled at the
swear word coming out of her innocent mouth if not for how serious this
conversation was.
“Can we please leave love out of this?” He asked not liking the direction this
was going.
“Why, what are you so afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid of love, I just don’t know how to love.” He said but knew it
for the lie it was the second he’d said it. He did know how to love, she’d
shown him how but he didn’t know how to be loved. He absolutely could not
accept the fact that she loved him because the second he did, he’d lose any
semblance of control, she’d be his and he’d never let her go.
“Even if I did Sansa I’m a nobody but you were born to be someone and with
someone far better then me. The second I tear that maidenhead out of you that
goes away do you understand that?” The next part he had a hard time spitting
out but it must be said to get his point across. “You’d be no more then my
bitch in the eyes of everyone else.”
“You’re wrong Sandor and even if you were right I don’t care what anyone else
thinks of me as long as I have you. I don’t want anyone else.”
“You say that now but you better be damn sure you never would before choosing
me because once I had you, you’d be mine. I’d kill any man who even looked at
you with lust in his eyes.”
“I never will want anyone else Sandor. I could live the rest of my days alone
with you in our cave if you’d have me. You’re my family.” For someone who’d
never really had family those words were like a balm to his soul and he gave up
the fight. If she’d have him, he’d spend the rest of his days loving her and
trying to make her happy.
“Alright then little bird, if you want this old dog’s heart, you have it.
You’ve had it from the first moment I laid eyes on you damn it.” And with that
she was in his arms and pressed against him.
***** Bliss *****
Chapter Notes
     This chapter has sexually explicit content.
Chapter 14
Bliss
It took every last ounce of his will power to get her back to the cave without
laying her down in the snow and having her on his way back but he’d waited this
long and she deserved a bed for her first time. Hell he was so nervous it felt
like his first time. He’d fucked and been fucked but he’d never made love.
Suddenly feeling like a damn maid himself he gently set her on her feet by the
edge of their soft bed before staring down at her.
“Sandor, you haven’t changed your mind have you?” She asked probably because
he’d made no move to touch her.
“No little bird, I haven’t changed my mind. I’m just not sure what to do.” He
said then deciding to go with honesty even though he felt his own cheeks heat
in embarrassment at the admission.
“Oh Sandor, we’ll learn together.” She said and he had a feeling she’d assumed
his words meant he’d never fucked before and he thought of correcting her but
decided there was no point. This was his first time making love and it was the
first time it mattered worth a damn. “I think maybe we should start by
undressing each other.” She said when he just continued looking down on her.
“Right.” He said and cleared his throat before reaching for the ties at the
front of her dress. His hands were shaking he realized as he struggled with the
dainty little things.
“Sandor.” She said and stayed his hand. “Maybe we should undress ourselves
instead.”
“Aye, that’s probably wise little bird.” And he quickly pulled his tunic over
his head and went at his breeches. He didn’t look up until he’d removed every
stitch. He expected to find his little bird in a similar state of undress but
she’d barely moved it would appear. She was too busy looking at him or at a
particular piece of his anatomy more accurately.
“Sandor.” She said in a high-pitched little squeak. “I’m quite certain that
won’t fit where it’s suppose to!” He looked down then at his own aching cock
that was currently waving enthusiastically in the air ready to go all night.
The veins were clearly seen going from root to tip. All the blood was pumping
to the head making it appear so red it was about turning purple from the
strain.
“I’m bigger then most men little bird. I suppose it would make sense I’m bigger
everywhere but I see no reason we won’t fit together. I promise we’ll go nice
and slow.” If it killed him he’d go slow he thought to himself.
She seemed to gather her courage as she went to the ties on her dress and
quickly loosened them before letting the gown drop to the floor at their feet.
She was now only in her small clothes and he found himself holding his breath
as she quickly stepped out of them and faced him fully naked. He remembered
that night two weeks ago when he’d seen her like this but tonight was
different, tonight he’d be touching and tasting that flawless body of hers not
just looking and yearning.
“Sandor?” She said and took a step closer to him. “Could you kiss me now?”
“Nothing would make me happier.” He whispered back and so he took her in his
arms and did just that. The kiss was the sweetest slide of her lips upon his
lips and her tongue dancing with his tongue. He didn’t notice when she’d put
her legs around his hips but he noticed when he felt the center of her line up
with his straining cock and when he felt her wetness soak the tip he couldn’t
help jerking up and in. Just the tip of him was inside of her but her gasp of
pain made him freeze entirely.
He was shocked at just how tight she was, it was like a soft iron fist had his
cock head in it’s tight grip and he was powerless to jerk out and he was
powerless to move further in so remained where he was trying to keep control
over his every instinct to just fuck. He needed to stop and spend more time
getting her ready, he knew if he just slammed into her hot cunt like he was
dying to he’d cause her more pain then was necessary and he couldn’t do that to
her.
He sank his fingers into the soft flesh of her arse and lifted her up enough
for his cock to pop free before laying her down on the bed. Her hair fanned out
on the pillow and for a moment he just looked down at her in wonder of why she
would ever willingly give herself to him but she was his as he was hers and he
was tired of questioning the why of it. In this moment he only wanted to
cherish her and the gift she was entrusting to him.
“You’re beautiful Sansa, as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside.”
At his declaration she only gave him a coy smile before reaching up for him to
join her on the bed. He went to her willingly and without hesitation laying
himself between her spread thighs and when he felt her warm arms hold onto him
tightly he realized he’d finally found home.
He let her just hold him for some time before lifting his upper body off of
her, he could feel her hard little nipples drag against his chest as he moved
and when he looked down he couldn’t refuse the temptation those pink little
buds offered so he bent his head to suckle first the right and then the left.
He didn’t stop until she was panting and squirming under him and when he
stopped to look at his resulting ministrations those same little buds gleamed
tight, hard and now red in the firelight. He laid one of his large hands over
one, letting the nipple drag against the calluses that marred the palm of his
hand and her gasp of pleasure was all the reward he needed. He continued to
drag his hand over her sensitive little teats moving from one to the other
until her hips were jerking against his.
“Sandor oh gods I need, I need…”
“Shush little bird, I know what you need. Are you wet for me?” He didn’t wait
for her answer instead moved his hand from her teat dragging it down her
quivering stomach to her hot little cunt. When he felt all the liquid heat
making her slick he inserted the tip of his middle finger in fucking her slow
and easy stretching the tightness and gradually inserting it further in until
his digit was as deep as it could go without tearing her maidenhead.
He was shocked at how tight she felt around just one of his fingers and knew
full well he’d have to fit at least three more into her to prepare her to take
his cock. “Fuck you’re tight!” He exclaimed as her cunt milked and clamped down
against his finger squeezing it even tighter, he imagined how good the
sensation would feel against his cock and he had to grip his member in a tight
hold to try and get himself back under control.
Once he felt in control enough he let himself go and brought his hand back to
her slowly inserting two fingers in now. She jerked away from the added digit.
“Sandor, it hurts!”
“Little bird, you’re going to have to take this and more if you want my cock.”
He said before coming back up and kissing her, hoping to distract her from the
invasion as he thrust both finger in, in one quick plunge. He fucked them in
and out of her in quick shallow thrusts and when she began whimpering and
twisting under him he found himself no longer in complete control of himself.
“That’s it little bird!” He gasped as her cunt began to quiver around his
fingers. When he felt a rush of heat and what felt like liquid fire around his
fingers he jerked them out and placed his cock at her entrance. He forged the
head in fighting the natural resistance of her body. The lining of her cunt
pushed against him, gripping and dragging making his already ultra sensitive
cock throb from the pressure and friction.
He had only worked the head of his cock in when she seemed to freeze beneath
him. “Talk to me little bird, am I hurting you?” He said worried at her
unnaturally still form.
“It burns! Does it feel good for you?” She asked then looking so unsure he bent
to kiss her.
“Aye little bird it feels damn good, but I don’t matter right now, you do.
Would you like me to stop?”
“No, I want to be yours! Please Sandor make me yours!” She exclaimed and he
couldn’t help the jerk of his hips at her words forging his cock a little
further in. Her white teeth suddenly bit down hard on his bicep and he was so
turned on at that little bite his cock jerked from inside her, perspiration
dotted his skin and his muscles began to shake with the effort it took to
restrain himself from thrusting deep.
He jerked forward another inch, feeling the barrier that was her maidenhead and
it stopped his movements as surely as if it was stone he came up against.
He was terrified of hurting her. Making her bleed was his worst nightmare. He
wasn’t sure what to expect, he’d never had a virgin before for fuck sake. What
if he was too big and tore her? What if he caused irreparable damage?
“Sandor, I won’t break. Fuck me.”
At her words he lost any semblance of control. “Mine.” He growled out as he
thrust the rest of the way in, tearing into her virgin flesh. Her nails dug
into the muscles at his back and he couldn’t tell if her gasps were from
pleasure or pain but he was too far-gone. He wouldn’t be able to stop fucking
into her in deep slamming thrusts now if someone had a steel blade to his
throat.
This was bliss, or the closest thing to bliss he’d ever experienced. The
quivering walls of her cunt had him in such a tight grip it was like she was
trying to milk the come out of his balls and he knew soon enough they’d oblige.
With each deep thrust up and in he jerked her whole body further up the bed,
her pert little teats were bouncing from the force of his thrusts and her
pupils were so dilated they looked almost entirely black. As her hips came up
to meet him thrust for thrust he knew she was no longer in pain. “Sandor,
Sandor…” she started chanting his name in a high-pitched voice and he knew she
was close.
“Look at me little bird, I want to see those pretty eyes when you come.” She
jerked then, her body nearly coming off the mattress as she screamed out her
release, the entire time keeping her eyes on him as he’d commanded. As he felt
her spasm around his cock he could last no longer and his own release came at
him making him groan and shout as spurt after spurt of his seed boiled out of
his balls to fill her hot cunt.
*
She couldn’t believe a man of his size and reputation could be so gentle with
her and if his sudden shaking was anything to go by that gentleness was costing
him and suddenly she didn’t want him to be gentle with her she wanted him to be
himself. “Sandor I won’t break. Fuck me.”
It was as if all his control broke at her words and she no longer knew if she
was looking up at the Hound or Sandor but she loved him either way. “Mine.” He
growled out as he thrust deep slamming against her.
He tore through her maidenhead. The thick stock of his cock stretching her past
the point she thought possible, stretching her to the point of pain but she
realized he was finally all the way in when she felt his balls slap against
her. He gave her no time to adjust to his size as he immediately pulled almost
all the way out before driving forward again.
She was surprised how quickly the pain began to ebb as he thrust her further up
the bed but liquid warmth had taken a hold of her and she couldn’t help but
start to meet him thrust for thrust. She could feel something starting to build
up and through her at each contact of his pubic bone to hers and she didn’t
fully understand what was happening but she knew she didn’t want him to stop.
“Sandor, Sandor…” She couldn’t help the chant that came to her lips and she
barely recognized her own voice.
“Look at me little bird, I want to see those pretty eyes when you come.” He
growled down at her and suddenly she was flung off the precipice of a pleasure
so great she struggled to remain focused enough to do what he’d commanded as
she screamed at the sensation rocking through her entire body. She could feel
her inner walls clamping down hard on the large member invading her body before
she felt a scalding burst of silky heat fill her up as he shout out from above
her.
It seemed to take forever to catch her breath after that and even longer to
find her voice but when she did she asked the first thing that came to mind.
“Can we do that again?” He smiled down at her with a crooked grin and his face
twitching as he slowly eased his way out of her.
“I’m ready when you are little bird, anytime, anywhere.”
They fell asleep in each other’s arms that night with their legs entwined, her
head resting on his shoulder and his arm encircling her waist.
***** Shock *****
Chapter 15
Shock
Days and then weeks came and went without the pair giving much notice, both
wrapped up in each other and the new life they’d built together. Before either
of them knew it three months had come and gone. Snow had piled high outside and
neither one ventured past the mouth of their cave if they didn’t have to.
Soon after their first night of loving one another Sadie had given birth to
four healthy puppies two girls and two boys. The puppies had grown quite a bit
but they were nowhere near full grown and they all bounded around the cave
playing all day and sometimes into the night entertaining them with their
shenanigans.
Shadow was the oldest and biggest and was named because of how he was always
shadowing after Sandor, whether he was running to the lake to fish or to get
water or going off to collect more wood Shadow was never far behind him. Sasha
was the next born and she was beautiful like her mama Sadie with a soft silky
coat that Sansa loved running her fingers through. Sage and Sin were the
troublemakers of the bunch. Sage had acquired her name because shortly after
her first steps she was bounding around running into everything. She somehow
knocked over their entire spice rack but luckily only managed to spill the sage
in the process. And Sin was the runt of the litter full of boundless amounts of
energy, large floppy ears that were too big for his body and so darn cute it
was a sin.
Their home was filled with so much warmth, love and life that little thought
was spared to the outside world and what was becoming of it. Sandor took her so
often that Sansa had nearly forgotten what life was like without his touch and
taste filling her everyday and night. He was insatiable which was okay with her
because the feeling was mutual. It seemed once they’d had each other neither
could get enough of the other and now they were both down right addicted to the
other. No matter how many times or how many different ways they made love it
was never enough for either of them.
Some days he’d take her hard and deep against the cave wall or spread her out
on their new dining table as if she were a feast he couldn’t get enough of and
other days he took her slow and sweet sliding into her when they were enjoying
one of their many baths together. Some nights he’d pin her down and tell her
all the naughty things he wanted her to do as he pounded into her and others
he’d wake her from her sleep by whispering all the things he loved about her as
he let her have her way with him for once.
Their meat was starting to run a little low in their icebox so Sandor was
planning his first full day away from her in months so he could go hunting and
replenish their food supply. He was to wake early in the morning and be gone
until dinnertime and Sansa wasn’t looking forward to being away from him but at
least she had her little pack of dogs to keep her company.
They were all just settling in for the night a little earlier then usual so
Sandor could get an early start tomorrow. It was their habit most nights to
just snuggle next to each other in bed talking about anything and everything
and this night was no different but soon enough one of them would touch the
other and touching would soon lead to kissing and kissing would lead to sucking
or biting and before long they were loving each other as desire consumed them.
Clothes were quickly shed and his big and callused hand came down on her
breast, shockingly dark against the milky white of her skin. For a moment she
was able to focus enough to notice all the old and new scars that criss-crossed
the back of it before he was dragging the rough skin over her sensitive nipple
stealing her focus and her breath.
“Sandor, oh gods yes!” She gasped out as the sudden sensations racked her body.
“Damn you’re a hot little thing. All prim and proper until I touch you and then
you become a wanton little bird begging for my cock. Beg for it little bird,
beg me to fuck you good and proper like!” She’d grown used to his course
language especially while he was loving her and she admitted, if only to
herself, some of the things he said and the way he said it ratcheted up her
level of excitement usually getting her wetter and hotter for him and so she
would return the favor on occasion using the language she knew he wanted to
hear from her, the language that would get him inside her quicker.
“Please Sandor, please fuck me!” She exclaimed spreading her legs a little
wider for him.
He came down between her spread thighs then and placed his large cock at her
entrance but instead of sliding into her he paused above her. “Are you going to
take every inch I give you, no matter or hard or deep like a good little bird?”
“Oh yes! Please Sandor I need you now!”
“Whatever my little bird wants!” He growled down at her before slowly entering
her. Quivering delicate muscled began to spread and burn as his fat cock head
forged into her. He always entered her slowly, stretching her before he truly
fucked her. Even when he was at his most aggressive he always made sure that
she wasn’t in any pain especially as he first entered her, he remained aware of
his shear size compared to her petite form.
Her whole body began to shake from the exquisite sensation of him inside her.
She’d never get enough of this, enough of him. He grunted above her as he
finally made his way all the way in from root to tip before stopping and
looking down on her. “You were made to take my cock baby, you fit me like a
fucking glove!”
“Sandor” she exclaimed squirming underneath him trying to get him to move so
eager for it she was aching. “Please I need you!” She said breath coming in
quick shallow gasps as he held her down and held himself still.
“You’ve got me little bird, can’t you feel? I’m already balls deep inside your
perfect little cunt?”
“That’s not what I meant, I need you to move.” She said gripping the muscles at
his back and trying to buck her hips into his and get some friction to ease her
growing ache.
“Move? Like this?” He asked ever so slowly easing out before easing in again
letting her feel every inch of his cock drag against her delicate flesh in a
slick slide that made perspiration dot her forehead. She could feel every vein
of his pulsing manhood scraping inside of her like a hot steel rod covered in
smooth silk. She could only form a whimper in response no longer able to form
words as her entire focus was now at the apex of her legs where Sandor was
working his magic.
“Or like this?” He said slamming forward in a deep, driving thrust. He was so
deep she couldn’t tell where she ended and he began. She couldn’t help the
scream that slipped past her lips anymore then she could help the begging that
followed when he once again ceased all movement.
“Please Sandor, oh please.”
“Please what baby? Slow and easy or fast and hard?”
“Hard! Please fuck me hard!” She screamed out letting her frustration get the
best of her as he kept still above her.
“I knew my little bird liked it hard and deep.” He growled down at her before
he lunged. He held her hips in his crushing grip keeping them in place as he
thrust into her heat slamming in as far as he could go before jerking out
almost entirely only to repeat it over and over again driving her mindless with
pleasure. It didn’t take either of them long to reach their peak with the hard
and fast rhythm he set, both screaming out their release almost in unison.
*
The next morning Sandor rose from bed before the sun had even made it’s
appearance. He tried to be as quiet a possible not wanting to wake the precious
sleeping form currently cuddled in the bed behind him as he gathered all the
hunting supplies he would need and quickly got dressed. He wanted to get this
done so he could get back to her, he hadn’t even left yet and he already missed
his little bird. When he was ready to head out he went to the edge of the bed
and bent down to kiss Sansa goodbye. He gave her an innocent little peck on her
cheek then lips before turning and leaving.
Shadow seemed to think he was going too but he’d hung part of the tarp and a
fur along the mouth of the cave a couple months back when it really started
getting cold and windy at night to keep their cave insolated. It was nailed and
tied into the stone at all four corners and it helped them keep the puppies in
the cave when they wanted them to be so he just retied the corner behind him so
Shadow wouldn’t be able to leave with him and his whole family was now safe and
sound.
He’d grown rather fond of Shadow these last couple months. Where Sadie, Sasha,
Sage and Sin preferred Sansa’s company shadow was his little buddy and always
kept him company. He was working on training him now so that in the near future
he’d be able to tag along on his next hunting trip but for right now he was
still too much of a puppy to be anything but trouble for him.
He didn’t know how long this trip would be because it depended on how quickly
he found his prey. He mounted Stranger and kept hold of Sally’s reins as he
left. He was bringing Sally along to help carry the meat back, he wasn’t
planning on going too far but it all depended on where the animals were, they
never saw too many close to the cave since winter had really settled in and he
hoped the journey wouldn’t be too long or arduous for his sake and the horses’.
It was about midday when he spotted a large buck, his first bigger game kill of
the day. He made quick work of him, he preferred and made it his habit to kill
and cut up the meat out in the field instead of taking it back to the cave and
leaving a bloody mess there. He was sure Sansa and the horses forced to carry
the weight were grateful for his habit as well.
When Sally was weighed down with meat from multiple animals he decided he’d
finally gotten enough to last his family at least the next few months it was
finally time for him to return home to them. It had only been one day but even
a moment away from Sansa felt like a damn eternity. He still couldn’t believe
how addicted he’s become to such a slip of a girl but there was no denying he
was.
It was just getting dark and the stars above were just making their appearance
when he finally approached the cave. He could hear the dogs making a ruckus
even when he was a fair distance away. He wasted no time in dismounting and
striding in to see what the fuss was about. Anybody who’d been in the area
could’ve heard them the way they were carrying on. And he growled out his
displeasure as soon as he was inside.
“What the hell is going on in here? Half of Westeros could hear this nonsense!”
He exclaimed before freezing at the site that greeted him.
Sansa was still in her nightdress but instead of lying on the bed as he’d left
her she was on the floor a broken cup and spilled tea pooled on the floor next
to her. His heart stopped at the sight and then beat at a mad gallop as he
rushed to her side. He picked her up and held her tight in his arms as he
carried her over to the bed trying to check her for injuries as he went. The
dogs were still going crazy at his feet apparently sensing something was
horribly wrong. “Sansa wake up!” He said tapping her cheek as soon as he
settled her on the bed. “Come on baby, wake up for me!” He had no idea what was
wrong with her. She had no injuries that he could see and that worried him more
then anything. He needed to get her to a maester and quickly.
Not wanting to take the time to dress her he just bundled her in blankets and
carried her out of the cave and to Stranger. He laid her on Stranger’s back
quickly going to Sally to cut off the bags of meat from her back and rounding
up all the dogs that were now running in the snow. When he had them safely in
the cave he mounted up on Stranger moving Sansa so she was once again in his
arms.
She hadn’t so much as twitched since he’d been back and the longer this went on
the more scared he became. He had no way of knowing how long before his return
she’d been on the floor but he was sick to his stomach that he’d left her alone
for so long, he should’ve been there damn it!
They were only a few minutes away from the cave when she jerked in his arms
before muttering something under her breath that he couldn’t quite make out.
*
Sansa woke to an empty bed beside her and she sighed at the thought of an
entire day without Sandor. She dragged herself out of bed to feed the dogs that
were just starting to stir as well. She was scooping the food into their
respective bowls when the scent of it came up to hit her in the face full force
and she suddenly had to struggle not to get sick. She put a hand to her shaky
stomach and had to hold her breath while she finished the job and bent to put
the bowls down on the floor for them to go at. When she stood again instead of
the nausea easing it seemed to get worse and she suddenly had to rush to the
empty washbasin by the bed nearly not making it in time.
She gagged and heaved until there was nothing left inside of her. It took her a
minute to catch her breath and stop shaking when she finally did the dogs were
crying to be let outside. She grabbed the now dirty washbasin and led the dogs
out. While they were relieving themselves she emptied the contents of the basin
and cleaned it out with fresh snow. She’d use some soap on it later she thought
to herself as she tried to round up the dogs. She needed to lie back down, she
was still nauseous and now she felt shaky and weak. She suspected this wasn’t
just a case of the stomach flu though, it’d been two months since her last
moon’s blood and she knew morning sickness plagued many in the first months of
pregnancy.
Sandor would be so mad at her if he knew she’d kept this secret from him but
she was worried about how he’d react and she wanted to be absolutely sure she
was really with child before she told him the news. As the days went by her
breasts had grown slightly plumper and much more sensitive, her moon’s blood
remained absent and now she was physically getting sick. She’d have to tell him
the news upon his return and she’d take the day trying to prepare how she
wanted to tell him.
When she reentered the cave she immediately went to crawl in bed again. The
warmth and softness surrounded her like a hug and she let the light from the
dancing flames lull her senses until she was once again falling asleep.
When next she woke her stomach wasn’t as shaky as it had been and she felt she
might be able to eat a little something. She shuffled over to the kitchen area
and grabbed the loaf of bread she’d made a few days ago, heating a small piece
by the fire and then adding a little butter, sugar and cinnamon. Her mother
used to make this when one of her siblings was sick and she knew it would be
the best thing for her stomach right now. She decided to heat some water for
tea to go with it.
When she was finished with her snack she went to refill her cup of tea and
decided now was as a good a time as any to finally read one of the many books
Sandor had purchased for her. She lifted the puppies on the bed with her and
Sadie and got settled in to read. Hours later she’d made a small dent in the
book and decided it was time to get cleaned up and dressed and accomplish
something before Sandor arrived back.
She had just gotten up and was carrying her cup to the basin to clean it when
dizziness assailed her. Darkness encroached on her vision before she had time
to grab a hold of anything to steady herself.
When next she woke it was to find herself in the arms of the man she loved and
strangely, on Stranger’s back in the cold of the night.
“Sandor, what in the world is going on?” She meant to ask but it only came out
as a quiet mutter. Her head hurt and blood pounded in her ears as she tried to
make sense of what had happened.
“Sandor, where are we going?” She asked more clearly then the last time she’d
spoken.
“I’m taking you to a maester little bird. You’re sick.”
“Oh Sandor, no I’m just…”
“Just what? What happened? What do you remember?” He asked looking down at her
in concern. Instead of answering his questions she decided to just ease his
worry about her being sick and be honest with him.
“I’m not sick, I’m pregnant.” She said peaking up at him in apprehension. He
didn’t react as she expected him to; in fact he barely reacted at all. The only
outward signs that he’d even heard her was the tightening of his arms around
her and his jaw clenching so tight she wouldn’t be surprised if he cracked a
tooth.
“Sandor, are you okay?” She asked when he didn’t respond to the news and didn’t
turn Stranger around to go back to the cave. When he didn’t respond to either
the news or her question she tried again. “Sandor didn’t you hear me? I’m
pregnant not sick, we don’t need to go to a maester.”
“I heard you little bird.” Was his gruff reply but he kept Stranger on the same
path they’d been going never breaking his stride.
She let him ride in silence for a few moments before she squirmed her way out
of the blankets she was wrapped in and grabbed hold of his strong shoulders
trying to get him to meet her gaze. “I just told you you’re going to be a
father, you have nothing to say?”
“We’re going to town to take care of it.” He said so quietly she could barely
make out what he’d said and when she did she wished she hadn’t. He couldn’t
possibly mean that the way it sounded! She’d heard of people purposely ending
the lives of their unborn babies by taking a strong mix of herbs called moon
tea but he couldn’t mean to do something like that to their child. Hound or
not, he wouldn’t do that she assured herself as they got further away from the
cave and closer to the town.
***** Repaid Debt *****
Chapter 16
Repaid Debt
A strange sort of contentment settled over Sansa as they approached the town
and as she snuggled into the solid heat of the man behind her and he kept a
strong arm around her waist protecting her and their unborn baby she knew why
she felt that way. It was in this moment she realized how much she’d grown to
trust him. He would never let any harm befall her. She knew whatever his
reasons for bringing her into town in the dead of night were; somehow they
would be justified.
She’d tried getting him to talk to her on their way in but it seemed he was
blocking everything out but getting them safely to the town being frustratingly
quiet, his mood somber. She knew when she finally broke the news to him he
wouldn’t be the type to jump for joy but she had to admit this reaction was
almost as surprising as if he did.
It wasn’t so much his lack of response but more his reaction as if something
terrible had happened. He was reminding her of his old self from back in King’s
Landing lost in his own dark and lonely world where no one and nothing could
touch him, not even her. She didn’t understand it. She was smart enough to know
this baby complicated thing for them in more then one way but they loved each
other and they should be celebrating the life they created together not acting
as if it was some great tragedy.
She was trying to work up the courage to voice those very thought when he
brought Stranger to a halt outside a tiny cabin on the outskirts of town. He
swung down from Stranger and she expected him to lift her down as well instead
he looked up to her and with a voice gone gruff told her, “Stay put, I’ll be
right back.” He quickly strode to the door and banged his fist against it
making a loud bang that rang out in the quiet of the night. She was surprised
when a man she guessed to be in his late twenties early thirties came barefoot
and shirtless to the door and even more surprised when his face split into a
grin when he spotted Sandor. She couldn’t make out what was being said as they
were talking in hushed tones but after only a few minutes both men were making
their way over to her and Stranger.
“Sansa, I want you to meet someone from my childhood.”
When he didn’t elaborate Sansa couldn’t help but ask. “Did you grow up
together?”
Before Sandor could reply the shirtless man did. “Aye, he saved my life when I
was five. Damn near drowned, if it wasn’t for him I would have. I was beginning
to think I’d never get to repay my debt.”
“He saved my life too, more then once now actually.” She responded back.
“Oh yeah, well I guess that makes us kindred spirits.” He said giving her a
boyish grin before continuing. “The name’s Tripp.” He reached up to grasp her
hand and though it was warm and callused like Sandor’s it felt incredibly small
in comparison. “How would you like to come in and have some warm tea? We can
get you out of this cold while we’re at it.”
Sandor reached up for her carrying her into the house and setting her down in a
chair facing the small fireplace. “How bout that tea little bird?” Sandor asked
but instead of waiting for a response he went to help Tripp in the kitchen.
The cabin was quite small all one room kind of like their cave but she wasn’t
concerning herself with Tripp’s home at the moment. No she was currently trying
not to panic at the mention of tea of any kind but she was scared and confused
and didn’t understand why they were here to begin with.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when Sandor appeared again and kneeled in
front of her with a large steaming mug in his outstretched hand. “Drink this
little bird, it’ll warm you right up.” She slowly took the mug holding it
between her two cold hands but not daring to drink from the liquid when she
didn’t know what was in it.
She was about to ask Sandor why they were there but he suddenly got up and went
to talk to Tripp in more hushed tones. When they were finished Sandor glanced
her way before turning to leave. Panic clawed at her insides and she suddenly
was on her feet intending to rush towards him. The mug of tea fumbled from her
numb hands and shattered at her feet in her haste.
“That’s the second mug of tea you’ve broken today little bird, if I didn’t know
better I’d think you’ve grown a dislike for the stuff.” He said good-naturedly
from the door.
“I’m sorry!” She exclaimed before trying to bend down and collect the broken
pieces
Both men exclaimed almost in tandem “Don’t you dare!” Sandor strode over to her
picking her up again and bringing her back to the same chair she’d been put in
by him earlier. Both blankets had slipped from her when she’d stood up and he
reached to grab one and wrap it around her shaking shoulders. Tripp went to
collect a wastebasket and started cleaning up the mess she’d made.
“Look at me little bird!” He said bringing her face to meet his for a quick
kiss. The heat of his mouth was like a balm of comfort to her frayed nerves. “I
need you to stay here. I wouldn’t leave you if I didn’t think it was safe. I
just need to run a couple quick errands and then I’ll be back for you.” Before
she was able to ask for more of an explanation he was taking long strides to
the door and without looking back he left her there.
She sat in silence for a few short moments before turning to Tripp still bent
over cleaning up the glass. “I don’t understand. Where’s he going? What’s going
on?” The anxiety in her voice would be impossible for Tripp to miss.
“He’s going to go see my brother Caine right quick and I’m sure wake Septon
Marigold from his sleep and bring him back here.”
“Septon?”
“You’ll need a Septon if you want to get married.”
“Married? Sandor wants to marry me?”
“Well from where I’m sitting he kind of needs to marry you although after
making your acquaintance the man would be a bloody fool if there wasn’t plenty
of want behind it.” Tripp exclaimed smiling up at her as the last of the
shattered glass was cleaned up from his floor.
*
Son of a bitch, he was a dumb useless dog! How could he not have seen this
coming for fuck sake? He’d only taken her at least three times daily for the
last three months it would’ve been a miracle if she hadn’t gotten with child.
He’d never had to give any thought to preventing pregnancy before, only being
with whores they took care of it and he never had to ask question, but his
little bird wasn’t a whore damn it, she was a maid who wouldn’t know anything
about preventing pregnancy anymore then he would, hell even less probably. And
did any of this cross his mind after he’d taken her maidenhead…Hell no! He’d
been too caught up in his own pleasure to take care of the only person that
he’d ever given a damn about and now there was no turning back for either of
them.
Ever since his little bird had proclaimed she was pregnant Sandor couldn’t seem
to focus on anything else but one driving thought…their baby couldn’t be a
bastard! He had to marry her and quick. It was bad enough what people would
think and say about her choosing to lower herself to the likes of him but the
kind of grief that giving birth to a bastard would bring her and their child
was unimaginable and repugnant to him.
He didn’t give much thought to the babe; he guessed there’d be plenty of time
for that in the coming months. Right now his focus was on Sansa and what all
this would mean for her and his own stupidity for getting her into this
situation to begin with. After mentally flogging himself the entire ride to
town he decided to just focus on what was instead of what should’ve been.
He wasted little time giving Tripp the short version of events that lead them
to his door before leaving his little bird in the shelter of his friends home
to run his errands.
He spent no more then ten minutes with Tripp’s brother Caine who he’d learned
from Tripp had become the local goldsmith. It being a small town there weren’t
that many options but the simple gold bands he purchased would do. Not in the
mood for small talk and in a hurry to get back to Sansa he was quickly on his
way, this time going to get the local Septon, a fellow by the name of Marigold
according to Tripp. He’d also told him where to find his house in the town and
it wasn’t long before he was banging on the front door of Septon Marigold’s
home.
An older man pushed the door open, his hair in disarray as if he’d just woken
from a deep slumber. “Hells son, do you have any idea what time it is?” He
asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and trying to focus on Sandor.
“Can’t say I do old man but I need your services tonight, it couldn’t be
helped.” He grumbled trying to stay as polite as possible fully aware that this
man had the power to deny him his request.
“I don’t recognize you. Are you from around here?” He asked inquisition now
lighting his sleepy gaze.
Sandor knew the less this man knew about him the better. He was still desperate
to keep word of their location from reaching King’s Landing. Even though Tripp
vouched for this man Sandor was unable to trust anyone else with Sansa’s
safety, including a holy man. However he knew better then to give a false name,
if he and little bird were to be married for true they’d need to use their real
names tonight.
“Aye, born in Clegane’s Keep.” He finally stated after considering his options,
limited as they were.
“Clegane’s Keep you say? Ah yes, I’ve heard of the terrible accident from when
you were a boy, I should’ve recognized those burns!” He exclaimed motioning for
him to enter his home.
Sandor just clenched his jaw, knowing full well, in this, the lie was better
then the truth. He slowly entered the man’s house paying no attention to his
surroundings as he tried to keep himself from barking orders at the old man to
get dressed so they could get going. His patience was wearing thin as the man
went to get himself a glass of water and offered him one. He just shook his
head no and felt as his lip started twitching as he tried to keep a firm grasp
on his temper.
“So what’s a Clegane doing in Cornfield and what’s so important that it
couldn’t wait until morning?” Finally the man got to the damn point and Sandor
had no issue getting to it as well.
“I need you to perform a marriage.”
“A marriage? My boy I’d be happy to but I hardly see why that couldn’t wait
until the morning. Normally when I’m woken from a dead sleep it’s to bless a
man whose about to die. From the looks of things, you’re in good health.”
“This can’t wait until morning damn it! We’re just passing through on our way
to Old Town.” The lie slipped from his lips as easily as truth before he
continued. “I don’t know the next time we’ll run into a Septon and we just
found out she’s with child.”
“Ah, with child.” The old man grumbled almost to himself. “And you’re the
father?”
“Of course I’m the fucking father!” Sandor growled out nearly grabbing the old
man by the front of his rumpled shirt.
“No need to get offended young man, I only mean to gather some facts before I
can agree to this union.” He said clearly trying to calm Sandor down now. “I’ll
only ask one more and then we can get to it. Is this what she wants?”
“What the hell do you mean? We may not have planned this child but Sansa’s
hardly the type to…”
“Hold it right there.” The Septon said holding up his hand to stop Sandor from
going further.
“I didn’t mean the child son, it’s a little late for that discussion. I meant
does she agree to this union?” At Sandor’s blank stare he continued. “Does she
want to marry you boy?”
“I didn’t, I don’t…” Sandor started before stopping again. Bloody hells, he
hadn’t thought to ask her. He couldn’t believe it. He’d been too damn busy
thinking of all the mistakes and consequences that he hadn’t even asked her! He
did the only thing he could think to do now and looked to the Septon with a
newly determined focus. “Get dressed and we’ll go find out!”
When they arrived back at Tripp’s cabin Sandor spotted Sansa looking out the
front window waiting for him and his heart rate immediately doubled in beats.
She gave a small, shy smile when she spotted him but it didn’t reach her
beautiful eyes and when her gaze shifted to the man next to him it dropped away
completely.
Mouth suddenly dry and his palms damp he realized he was nervous. She could say
no. Hell, if it weren’t for the babe he’d put in her belly she’d be smart to
say no. He had nothing to offer her or so little it was damn near nothing. Even
when it came to the babe, he knew nothing of being a father; maybe he’d be a
terrible father. Just as bad or worse as his father had been to him.
He could feel a cold drop of sweat roll down his back as fear seized him in a
way it hadn’t since he was a helpless child at the mercy of Gregor not just at
the thought of her saying no but now at the thought of her saying yes.
For fuck sake he had no business marrying Sansa Stark, he’d had no business
fucking her either but he started this when he spread her legs and tore the
maidenhead out of her and now he needed to see it through one way or the other.
The Septon slapped him on the back breaking his thoughts and said, “Well what
are you waiting for son? Go ask your girl so that I may get some sleep
tonight.”
***** Peace *****
Chapter 17
Peace
Sandor had barely made it through the door before Sansa was in his arms. He
held her for some time savoring having her safe and in his arms again. He
breathed in her sweet scent before releasing her and leading her to the far
corner of Tripp’s home hoping to gain a bit of privacy. Her presence alone
calmed his frayed nerves and he was no longer worried about what her answer
would be. He knew he didn’t even need to ask her if she’d marry him, he was
sure she would.
“Are you ready for this little bird?”
“Sandor we don’t have to do this.”
“You don’t want to marry me?” He asked questioning his thoughts from only a few
seconds ago.
“It’s not that…” after a lengthy pause she finally continued. “I can tell you
don’t want to do this. You look like a man going to his death. I never thought
I’d see you scared and yet it’s the thought of marrying me that has you afraid.
What are you so scared of?”
“I’m scared of ruining you!” He exclaimed running his hands through his hair in
frustration before continuing. “You think I don’t want you for a wife? Fuck
girl I’d give my right arm to keep our life together in that damn cave, whether
I have a ring on my finger or not.” He huffed out and started pacing in small
circles in front of her only stopping to look at her when he was ready to
continue. “But Sansa I’m no good for you and to be honest I’m no good for an
innocent little baby. Some of the things I’ve done and seen…some of the things
I’ve thought of doing would scare you, they sure as hell scare me.” At her
incredulous look he just continued. “Do you know how close I came to raping you
that first night on the run?” He didn’t wait for her to answer, just continued
full speed ahead. “It took everything in me to roll off of you when all I
really wanted to do was take you, not caring that you were a terrified maid and
way too young, beautiful, highborn and innocent for the likes of me and now
you’re carrying my pup. What if it’s a boy and he turns out like me, or even
worse Gregor? Have you thought about that? This kid will have Clegane blood
running through its veins, evil fucking blood.”
“Sandor stop, you’re not evil! I don’t care what you’ve done in your past; it’s
the present and future that matters now. And it doesn’t matter what you think
only what you do. You’ve done nothing but love and protect me and I know you’ll
do the same for our child. And you didn’t rape me that night! You could’ve, I
was completely at your mercy and you wouldn’t have stopped if you’re as evil as
you seem to think you are.”
“And you think that makes me a fucking prince?” He growled down at her gripping
her arms in a firm hold.
“You think I want a prince? I’ve been with a prince Sandor, the most highborn
and handsome in the land and it was a nightmare. You saved me from him. You
risked your life to get me out of that hell.” Tears were gathering in her eyes
now and spilling down her cheeks when she shook her arm loose to reach up and
caress his burnt cheek.
“You’re my dream now. You’ve always been my dream; I just didn’t realize it
then. You, our family and the home you’ve given me are everything to me.” He
kissed her, letting go of the last of his reservations. This was right, it had
to be, nothing that felt this good could be wrong. He was still scared, scared
of one day hurting her or damaging her in some way but this was a fight he
couldn’t win and a fight he didn’t want to win. He wanted Sansa for a wife and
selfish or not he’d have her.
“Will you marry me little bird?” He murmured against her soft lips, finally
asking her the question he should’ve asked her months ago.
“Yes, oh yes Sandor! I’ll gladly marry you. Nothing would make me happier.”
They said their vows in front of the fire in Tripp’s tiny cabin. Sansa was
barefoot and dressed in her simple white nightdress, her hair cascading down
her back, hues of red shining and shimmering in the dancing firelight, her big
Tully blue eyes clear and full of love shining back at him.
Tripp was the only witness to their union but the pair didn’t even notice him,
both barely able to pay attention to the Septon as they pledged themselves to
each other. The simple gold bands he’d purchased were slipped on each other’s
fingers before the Septon announced them as husband as wife and he was finally
able to kiss Sansa for the first time as her husband, the first time of many he
vowed to himself.
By the time Septon Marigold left it was well into the middle of the night. His
little bird, his wife, was struggling to keep her eyes open and he felt like a
damn fool that he had to take her back out into the cold to get them home, but
it couldn’t be helped. He wanted to be long gone from the town when day broke
in just a few hours so he bundled her back up and after saying his goodbyes and
thanks to Tripp they were once again on their way.
It wasn’t long into the journey before his wife was nodding off in his arms and
he let the soothing rhythm of Sandor’s hooves and the quiet of the night
surround him easing his tense muscles. He looked down at the precious girl in
his arms more often then his surroundings and he realized they truly were a
family. No one could or would take her away from him. A peace settled over him
that he was wholly unfamiliar with at the comforting thought.
When they finally arrived home the sun still hadn’t made its appearance but the
sky was starting to lighten up in the first stage of a new dawning day. His
wife didn’t even stir as he dismounted Stranger with her still held tight in
his arms, she didn’t stir when he entered the cave to the excited puppies and
she didn’t stir as he laid her in bed and tucked her safely in before going to
tend to the horses and dogs.
He’d forgotten the bags of meat he’d left laying in the snow before their
abrupt departure and as the dogs were running around outside getting some of
their energy out he went to pack the meat in their icebox before gathering
their little brood of puppies back into the cave so he could get some rest.
*
Sansa woke up from such a pleasant dream and as she arched her back to stretch
she bumped into the solid warmth behind her and realized she was still in a
dream.
She let her eyes roam around the comforting surroundings of their cave before
settling on her beloved husband still sound asleep. She was home. She’d never
known this kind of peace and contentment before.
Instead of getting up she snuggled as close to Sandor as she could get. He
grumbled and flung his arm around her waist holding her tightly to him as they
both tumbled back into sleep.
It was a delicious pressure between her legs that woke her next and she
realized Sandor was slowly entering her from behind. Her nightdress was bunched
around her hips and her husband held her in place as he slowly worked all the
way inside of her and she realized this was the first time he’d taken her this
way. He was usually so adamant about her looking at him while he was loving her
almost as if he was afraid she’d forget who she was with, as if that could ever
happen.
She was surprised how different it felt taking him this way. His member was at
a different angle inside her then it had ever been and it was hitting a spot
deep inside he never had before making her gasp at the sensation. He only took
a couple strokes before nausea consumed her.
“Sandor stop!” She exclaimed and before he was even all the way out she was
jerking from the bed and scrambling to grab the basin before losing the
contents of her stomach. She heard Sandor scramble off the bed after her. She
was embarrassed to be getting so sick in front of him but as he rubbed soothing
circles on her back and she was able to get her breathing back under control
she was grateful for his presence.
“Are you sick little bird? Do you need a maester after all?” Sandor asked the
anxiety in his voice clear to her.
She patted his hand in reassurance as she slowly got herself up off the floor.
“No love, it’s common for sickness to plague mothers to be in the first few
months from what I hear.”
“A few months?” He asked incredulously. “You’ll dwindle into nothing if you
stay sick like this for months, you’re already too damn skinny as it is! When’s
the last time you ate something?”
“I had a piece of toast yesterday with my tea, that’s all I could manage to
force myself to eat.”
“Toast, you’ve only had a measly piece of bread to eat in almost two days? No
damn wonder I found you passed out cold yesterday. That’s it back to bed with
you, I’m going to make you some stew and you’re not to move from this bed until
you have some food in you.” He said as he tucked her back in bed.
“But Sandor, I probably won’t be able to keep it down.”
“Well you need to try and eat something little bird if not for yourself then
for the pup.”
“Would you kindly stop referring to our baby as a dog? I don’t even like it
when you refer to yourself as one!” She exclaimed as she smoothed the blankets
around herself.
“Fine the babe then.” He said as he went to grab the pail and the dirty basin
and left the cave with five dogs vying to be the first outside. He returned
quick enough with only Sadie following behind this time. He dipped the cloth
they used for bathing in the cool liquid and rung it out before coming back to
her. He gently dabbed at her face before laying the cool cloth on her forehead.
“So this is what it’s like to have a husband then? I think I like it!” She said
a teasing smile playing on her lips as she let a satisfied sigh escape at the
refreshing coolness that somehow helped ease her temperamental stomach.
“Like I needed to be your husband to take care of you? I’ve been doing it for
months now wife or haven’t you noticed?” He asked over his shoulder as he was
going to the kitchen presumably to get the stew started. Her stomach flipped at
the thought of food but she didn’t have the heart to discourage him from
cooking for her when he was so clearly concerned about her and the baby and he
had a point. Their baby would need nourishment and she meant to give it that
even if she had to force herself to eat.
Sadie had just climbed up on the bed with her as she snuggled deeper into their
soft pillows when Sandor returned to her holding out what looked to be a root
of some kind and a green leaf she recognized from her herb collection as mint.
“This will make you feel better little bird. Just nibble lightly on both of
them and you’ll be right as rain.” She followed her husband’s instructions and
soon enough she was feeling much better. Her and Sadie both watched Sandor as
he prepared what looked to be rabbit stew. When he had all the ingredients in
their largest pot he carefully carried it over to the fire’s edge to let it
simmer. “I need to go check on the puppies and I have a new project in mind
that I mean to get started today.”
“Oh, and what’s that?”
“That would be a surprise. I’ll be back shortly to check on you and the stew
but do me a favor and stay in bed until you eat something more substantial then
ginger and mint. The next time I find you on the floor might bring me to an
early grave.”
“Oh Sandor I’m sorry I scared you! I promise I’ll stay in bed just don’t forget
about me!”
“I couldn’t if I tried wife.” He said bending down to kiss her before heading
back outside. She liked the sound of ‘wife’ on his lips; she liked it so much
she couldn’t help the smile that came to her lips every time she heard it from
the big fierce man.
Just as Sansa was about ready to climb out of her own skin because she was so
bored from being in bed so much for the second day in a row Sandor finally came
back. Luckily her stomach had seemed to settle and the delicious scents of the
stew she’d smelled for the last couple hours had actually made her feel hungry
and she hoped she could keep a bowl down. “What do you think little bird, you
up for a picnic in the snow? It’s a sunny day today. I imagine you could use
some fresh air about now.”
When she stepped outside on her husband’s arm she had to blink her eyes to
adjust to the brightness of the sun and snow. Sandor had already laid a blanket
out for her and they sat and enjoyed their hot stew as they watched their pack
of dogs bounding around in the snow. When they were finished Sandor went in to
do the dishes for her and because the thought of going back inside didn’t
appeal at all she braved the cold and started making a large snow castle. It
wasn’t until she was half way done she realized the castle she was making
resembled Winterfell. She heard Sandor’s feet crunching in the snow as he made
his way back to her and when he looked over her shoulder to see what she’d been
up to she was surprised when he began helping her to do something so frivolous.
“You homesick little bird?” He asked just as they were putting the finishing
touches on it.
“You’re my home now Sandor.”
“Aye, I know but it’s okay to miss Winterfell and your family too.” He said as
he turned to her and started playing with a lock of her hair that the breeze
had caught.
“I think a part of me will always miss and long for Winterfell but I know
memories are all I have now. Winterfell is gone along with my family.”
“You’re family may be gone but one day, when this blasted war is over, I could
take you north to Winterfell. We could rebuild it. Would that make you happy?”
“Oh Sandor how I love you for suggesting it but Winterfell just wouldn’t be
Winterfell without the Starks. We have our own family now and we’ll make our
own home wherever we wish it. Maybe we could even stay here.”
“Here? Little bird we can’t live in a cave forever, we’re already outgrowing
it.” He said as he put his hand over her flat belly.
“Maybe we can’t stay in the cave but there’s some flat land near by, we could
build a home here by the lake. After all, now that your brother’s gone isn’t
this your land?”
“Aye, I guess it is. Let’s get you inside, this breeze it getting damn bitter
and your cheeks and nose are about as red as your hair.” Sandor stayed behind
to gather their scattered pack of dogs as she made her way back into the warmth
of their home. She stood by the fire to warm her chilled skin after first
entering and Sandor came to join her a moment later stepping behind her
messaging her shoulders as they both gazed into the flames. “Would you like me
to gather water for a bath tonight little bird?”
“Oh that sounds heavenly!” She said in delight before leaning back into his
warmth and strength. “What a good husband you make my love.” She felt his
shoulders shake with laughter at that. “What’s so funny?”
“We haven’t even been married a day little bird.”
“It doesn’t matter how long we’ve been married!” She exclaimed turning to meet
his gaze. “You are and will be an amazing husband to me.”
All traces of laughter erased from his face he brought his calloused hand up to
caress her still cool cheek. “I’ll try my very best but if I ever screw up you
have my permission to hit me over the head until I see things your way.”
She smiled up at him at that and wrapped her arms around him squeezing him with
all her strength. All her love for him making her feel like a giddy little girl
suddenly. “I love you Sandor.”
“And I love you Sansa.” He said returning her tight hold. “I better start
collecting the water for that bath.” While he was slowly filling the tub with
steaming hot water Sansa decided to prepare a light meal of rice and fish for
them. By the time the tub was full their bellies were as well and the dishes
had already been scrubbed and dried from supper mess. Sandor had just fed their
dogs and was taking them out one last time while Sansa settled into the
deliciously warm water.
*
Sandor returned from outside fully intending on joining his wife in the tub. As
soon as the dogs were inside and he tied the tarp and fur back into place
sheltering them from the bitterly cold wind that had gotten much worse
throughout the day he was shedding his clothes and making his way to the
curtain hiding his naked wife from his hungry gaze.
His heart swelled in awe at the sight that greeted him. She was beautiful, the
most beautiful woman his eyes had ever gazed upon and she was his. Her right
arm was curled up under her head supporting it as she slept. Her long red hair
was cascaded down her other side covering her left breast from his view but her
right breast was his to look upon and look he did. Her nipple was playing peak
a boo with the water that was lightly lapping due to her even breaths and her
nipple was hard whether from cold or the stimulation from the water’s edge he
couldn’t say but he desperately wanted to taste and tease the pink bud with his
lips and tongue.
He recalled the last time she’d fallen asleep in the tub and he had to call out
to her to wake her, knowing at the time she wouldn’t want him to see her naked
and now he was her husband. It was his right to see her like this, naked and
vulnerable. She trusted him with her and he’d never betray that trust.
He sighed and willed his hard cock down as he accepted that she needed her rest
more then he needed to fuck her. He grabbed hold of one of the towels and held
it under his chin as he reached down to lift her slight form from the tub. She
mumbled her displeasure from being taken from the warm water but snuggled into
his heat and the towel he quickly wrapped around her. When he carried her to
the bed he replaced the towel for a blanket and got her tucked in. He blew out
the remaining candles they had lit and fed the fire more wood before joining
his wife and pulling her close. As soon as he had her firmly wrapped around him
and her breathing returned to the deep evenness of slumber he finally let
himself fall under with her.
The next morning Sandor let his wife sleep in as he went outside to brave the
bitter winds and work on his wife’s present. It was actually Tripp that gave
him the idea. He had a chair facing the fireplace at his cabin and he thought
Sansa would appreciate a nice, soft chair. She could enjoy the warmth of the
fireplace while she did her needlework or read one of her books. Just any chair
wouldn’t do though, he knew from their time in King’s Landing that his little
bird liked to spend time rocking so even though he’d never attempted to build a
rocking chair he wouldn’t rest until he’d built her the softest most
comfortable rocking chair she’d ever had.
He’d collected all the pieces of wood he’d need yesterday so now he just had to
cut them and mold them into the sizes and shapes he’d need for his present.
***** Panic *****
Chapter 18
Panic
Sansa was sitting in her rocking chair by the fireplace working on a pair of
booties for the baby who was due to come in just a couple short months when
Sadie came and nudged her knee. She knew that meant it was just about time for
their daily walk.
They had fallen into a routine these past few months. Ever since Sansa finally
stopped getting sick every morning upon waking up she’d always get dressed and
brush her hair before breaking her fast with her husband, then she would tackle
her morning chores including scrubbing their home down and washing their dirty
clothes and hanging them by the fire to dry before their mid day meal.
On nice days they’d prefer having a picnic out in the sunshine, on the not so
nice days they’d eat in front of the fire. By afternoon she’d curl up in her
rocking chair that Sandor had surprised her with a couple weeks after their
wedding. It was now her favorite place in the world and sometimes she felt like
she could rock all day. The repetitive motion always soothed her as she did her
knitting and needle work. She’d sometimes talk or sing to her baby as she
rocked and it became her second favorite time of day, right behind crawling
into bed with Sandor every night.
A couple months ago she’d been thrilled to feel the baby kick for the first
time. She’d nearly jumped out of her skin when it happened. It had been right
after a bout of lovemaking with Sandor when they were just settling in for the
night and at her gasp of shock Sandor immediately panicked thinking something
was wrong with her or the baby but when she took his hand and placed it on her
moving stomach she’d never forget the expression that came to his face as she
told him their baby was saying hello, it was somewhere between awe struck and
dumb struck. Ever since then he’d grown a fondness of touching her stomach
whenever he was near enough to reach it. Even in his sleep he would always have
a hand splayed over the growing bump of her belly and her heart melted every
time.
She had to shake her head at Sandor’s insecurities about being a good father.
The baby wasn’t even born yet and he was already a good father as far as she
was concerned.
Their puppies were quickly growing and had nearly reached their full height
though they would all be filling out more. Sandor had been working constantly
with training all of them and they now knew and followed a bunch of commands
from the basics like sit and stay to hunt and guard.
The girls, Sasha and Sage had grown to like the outdoors more then the cave so
more and more often they would stay out even through the night. It was only on
truly cold nights they’d come home to stay warm in the cave and get a nice
meal.
They’d run out of dog food a couple months back but all of them seemed to be
good at hunting and getting their own food except for Sadie, which they just
gave her their scraps after meals and she seemed to like that just as well if
not better.
Sadie stayed close to Sansa at all times still and Shadow was Sandor’s shadow
in every way. It was Sin that split his time between the cave and his sisters
and they let him come and go as he pleased. None of them ever wandered too far,
if they wanted them to come all Sandor had to do was whistle and the whole
brood would come sprinting home.
Sadie nudged her hand again with her cold wet nose and it brought Sansa’s
thoughts back to the present and her immanent walk. Before she’d start dinner
her and Sadie would always take a walk and get some fresh air around the lake.
It would take a blizzard to stop them from taking their daily walk and today
was no such day.
“Alright girl, let’s go.” She said as she set her knitting aside to grab her
cloak and don her boots. When they exited the cave it was to find her husband
working away on the crib, Shadow sitting by him and Sin laying a few feet away.
“Going for your walk little bird?” Sandor asked looking up from his work.
“Yes, we’ll be right back.”
“Alright, give me a kiss before you go then.” Sansa smiled up at him as she
approached and let her lips linger over his far longer then necessary before
turning and heading towards the lake’s edge.
The day was overcast but it was warmer then it had been lately. There was only
a light breeze coming off the lake, just enough to ruffle her hair.
It took about forty minutes to circle the entire lake and end up back at the
cave and they were about thirty minutes in when Sadie began to let out a deep
growl that Sansa had never heard her use before. Her steps slowed and then
stopped completely as Sadie’s haunches stood up and she began showing her teeth
to the edge of the trees. Sansa’s senses went on high alert and at first she
couldn’t see or hear whatever had Sadie upset but a man suddenly stepped out
from the tree line.
He looked to be in his thirties or forties. He was thin and in bedraggled
clothing. He had a scraggly beard and when he smiled at Sansa, in what could
only be described as an open leer, she noticed his teeth were crooked and
yellow. She took an involuntary step back as Sadie stepped forward ready to
defend her.
“Now what’s a pretty thing like you doing way out here in the middle of nowhere
with only a mutt to protect her?” The man said slowly making his way closer to
her.
“I’m not alone, my husbands just around the bend.” She said voice quivering
against her will.
“Is he now?” The man said coming closer with every breath she took. Sadie let
out a warning bark and dug her paws into the ground trying to be as
intimidating as possible.
“Yes he is, and he’s the fiercest warrior in all of Westeros so I’d turn around
and leave now if I were you. We don’t want any trouble.” She said proud at the
steel that suddenly laced her spine and voice.
“Well I’d hate to have to face the fiercest warrior in all of Westeros.” The
man said laughter clear in his voice. Before Sansa could form a retort the man
lunged at her and Sadie lunged at him. He had a large blade in his hand and
brought the pummel down cracking it across Sadie’s skull before she could
react. Her prone form now lying perfectly still in the snow as if she were
asleep, there was nothing and no one between her and the dirty man now.
She sucked in a quick breath to scream for Sandor hoping he was close enough to
hear but before she’d let out a sound the man had her tackled hard to the
ground knocking the breath from her at the hard impact. She tried to protect
her baby with an arm wrapped tightly around her middle as she went down and
before she could move the man had his weight on top of her and his filthy hands
tearing her cloak and dress down the front in one sweep.
The shock of it all had her frozen in terror and it wasn’t until the man saw
the bump of her belly that he smiled down at her. “My, my what have we here?”
He said bringing his blade down to the side of her stomach. “You may not be
lying about a husband after all and just in case he’s as close as you claim
you’re going to stay real quiet. You make one sound I’ll cut this kid out of
you where you lay. Do we understand each other?” Sansa forced herself to nod in
agreement as tears fell from her eyes to run into the snow.
When he started opening his breeches she closed her eyes in horror as to what
was about to happen.
“Please…” she started but yelped in pain and fright when he inserted enough
pressure on the blade to break the skin at her stomach.
“Not a damn sound, I thought you understood.” She had to force herself from the
hysterics that threatened to take hold of her at the feeling of her own warm
blood trickling down the left side of her stomach and as the man went to his
breeches again she caught a glimpse of fur flying by her head going straight at
the man on top of her.
At the impact his grip on the knife slipped cutting her more and she jerked at
the pain. She watched as he brought the blade up and stabbed it into the
animal. She recognized Sin immediately though she’d never seen him look so
fierce.
Sin yelped in pain at the impact of the knife and Sansa was suddenly fighting
with the man with everything in her. How dare he attack her family, she hit,
bit and scratched him like a woman gone mad before a blinding pain flashed at
her temple making the world go black around her.
*
Finally Sandor had finished the base of the crib and now only had the rails and
slats to add before it was complete and ready for their babe. Sansa would get
to work on the pad and blankets for it as soon as he’d completed the frame and
despite himself he was truly getting excited for the arrival of their little
pup. His excitement had started about the time Sansa started showing and by the
time he’d felt his baby move inside his wife he’d been a goner.
He wondered if it was a boy or girl for about the millionth time and hoped no
matter what it was they took after their sweet mother as much as possible.
Recently they’d started discussing names when they were laying in bed right
before sleep claimed them. They both liked Sharlet for a girl and they were
thinking of Sawyer for a boy but no matter what they decided on Sansa was
adamant the name should start with an S. It was pure coincidence that his name,
his little bird’s name and Stranger’s name all started that way but from the
day he brought Sadie and Sally home Sansa had run with it and decided their
whole family should have a S name.
He was sanding down one of the rails when Sansa came out from the cave dressed
for the walk he knew she took every day at about this time with her beloved
Sadie.
“Going for your walk little bird?” Sandor asked looking up from his work though
he already knew the answer.
“Yes, we’ll be right back.”
“Alright, give me a kiss before you go then.” He said and returned the smile
that came to her lips as she approached him to do just that. When they broke
apart a few minutes later Sandor thought to throw her over his shoulder and
take her to bed, giving her a far different sort of exercise but instead he
released his beautiful wife and watched her disappear into the trees by the
lake. He had to adjust himself in his breeches before he could focus on getting
back to work.
Sometime later Sin started growling and rose to his feet with haunches raised.
At first he thought he might’ve just heard Sansa and Sadie returning though it
would’ve been a bit early but when he took off at a run and Shadow rose and
began growling the same way Sandor knew something was wrong. He went to the
cave to grab his blade and let Shadow lead him into the forest keeping a fast
pace.
He didn’t know if it was man or beast that had his dogs riled but either way
his wife was out here with only Sadie to protect her. He tried not to let panic
take hold of him but the more aggravated Shadow became the more worried he
became.
They broke the tree line and came to the lake’s edge about the time Sandor saw
what could only be described as his worst nightmare.
His wife lay unmoving under a man who had his breeches down, his dirty hands
squeezing her breast and blood marring her creamy skin. Both Sadie and Sin lay
unmoving on either side and Sandor saw red.
Shadow barked at the man before lunging for him and the man looked up in
surprise and grabbed for his blade that he’d laid down in the snow beside him.
“Shadow stop!” Sandor commanded and at his deep voice both Shadow and the man
froze. He saw the man’s eyes go big in fright as Sandor strode forward blade in
his hand ready to gut the fucker who’d thought he could touch what was his.
“You must be the husband?” The man said bringing his blade to Sansa’s throat
and freezing Sandor in his tracks. “I thought she was lying about that.” He
said and Sandor noticed his hand that held the blade just above his wife’s
pulse was shaking horribly. Sansa still hadn’t moved and the closer he got the
more blood he saw on her and he had to force himself not to rush forward.
“What the fuck did you do to her?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking and the
man paled and tightened his grip on the blade.
“You know how it is, it’s been months since I’ve seen a woman and she’s a
pretty thing. I like pretty things!” He said the last part almost to himself
but Sandor heard.
“I’m going to kill you.” Sandor said in a deadly calm voice, ready to do just
that. The only thing stopping him was the steel so close to Sansa’s skin.
“If you want your wife and your little brat to live I’d rethink that if I were
you.” He spat out.
Sandor clenched his jaw and swallowed hard before assessing the situation. He
needed to get the bastards attention split long enough for him to get close
enough to kill him and the only way he really had to do that was Shadow. He
didn’t want to lose his buddy but he’d forfeit anything to save Sansa and his
baby. “Attack.” He growled out and before the man could process what he’d said
Shadow was on him. Sandor lunged forward grabbing the man by his hair and
dragging him off his wife. He had his throat slit from ear to ear before he
could even finish his scream. He left his prone body in the snow without a
second glance or thought.
He knelt by his wife checking her for injuries and noticed the blood on her
face was coming from a nasty gash on her temple close to her hairline. The
blood on her body was coming from her stomach and his blood ran cold to think
that the man had hurt not just his wife but his baby as well.
Sandor looked over at Shadow who had blood dripping from his mouth but he was
pretty sure it was the man’s blood and not his and he couldn’t see any injuries
on him. Sadie was out cold but breathing and he couldn’t see any injuries to
her. Sin was bad, there was blood pouring from a wound on his side and though
he was breathing he was struggling with it.
Sandor let out a loud piercing whistle that he knew Stranger would hear. By the
time he arrived Sadie was waking up and Sandor wasted no time throwing Sin on
his back and gently picked his wife up carrying her back himself. He whistled
for Sasha and Sage when they made it back to the cave and when they arrived he
had them guarding the mouth of the cave along with Shadow.
He didn’t know if that man had been alone but he wouldn’t take any chances and
until he could check things out for himself he would make sure his family was
protected. After assessing Sansa’s injuries closer he determined she’d need
stitches for her head wound but the wound on her side was shallow enough that
he knew it should heal up just fine on it’s own. He cleaned the wounds well
before bandaging her up and tucking her into bed with Sadie who acted glued to
her side.
Sin struggled with every breath he took and his blood loss was great. The stab
wound to his side was deep and he feared it had pierced his lungs. He only woke
when Sandor poured alcohol over the wound making him yelp and whine in pain
before passing out again. Sandor stitched him up as best he could but knew it
was probably futile. He was just finishing wrapping the bandage around his
torso when the little bird came to.
“Sandor?” She said as she tried to sit up in bed.
“I’m here little bird.” He said standing up from the floor where he’d been
working on Sin.
“What happened?” She asked and brought her hand up to her bandaged head.
“You were attacked, do you remember anything?” He asked afraid to learn that
the man raped her.
She gasped out. “The man he…” her voice trailed off before she looked around in
panic, her hand suddenly going to her stomach. “Our baby, is our baby okay?”
“I think so, the cut on your stomach wasn’t too deep.”
“And the man who did this, where is he?”
“He’s gone little bird, he’ll never hurt you again.” He said taking her small
hand in his.
“Sin, where’s Sin?” She asked panic making her voice rise.
“He’s over here. He’s not doing too good.” Before he could stop her she was
scrambling off the bed to Sin’s side.
“Oh Sin!” She wailed and held his head in her lap. “He was trying to protect
me. He was so brave Sandor you should’ve seen him.” She cried and hugged Sin
closer to her.
Sandor cleared his throat and asked her what he was terrified to know the
answer to. “Sansa, did that man…did he rape you?”
She looked down before answering almost as if she were ashamed to meet his
gaze. “No, but he wanted me to…he…” she stuttered before continuing. “He held
the blade to my stomach and threatened to hurt our baby if I screamed.” She
stopped talking as sobs overtook her shaking her small frame.
“Little bird.” He whispered and held her tightly to him as she cried. “It’s
okay now, you and our babe are okay and he can never touch you again, I made
sure of that.” He continued whispering assurances and sweet nothings in her ear
as she settled down and slowly became limp in his arms. “Let’s get you to bed.”
He said and lifted her into his arms to carry her to bed.
“No, I want to stay with Sin. He needs me.”
“I’ll carry him to bed. He can sleep with us tonight okay?” She settled down in
his arms again after that and allowed him to lay her back down on the bed.
Both Sin and Sadie slept in the bed with them that night but Sandor couldn’t
find sleep he’d come too damn close to losing his world today.
Sansa awoke with a gasp on her lips before the sun had risen the next morning
and Sandor who’d finally gotten out of bed to pace away some of his nervous
energy was immediately at her side thinking she’d had a nightmare. “It’s
alright little bird I’m here, you’re safe.”
“Sandor it hurts!” She exclaimed grasping his hand with surprising strength.
“What hurts, your head?”
“No, I think, I think I’m in labor!”
“What? No it can’t be, it’s too damn soon. You said we should have six to eight
weeks left still!”
“Too soon or not, I think this baby is coming.” She tore her hand out of his
suddenly damp grip to hold her belly. “Oh gods Sandor help me!” She pleaded as
her muscles tensed as another wave of pain hit her.
Sandor had never known panic like what seized hold of him then because for the
first time he didn’t know how to help her. There was no enemy to fight and no
wound to tend to all he could do is stand there and look down on the most
precious thing in his life as she struggled to fight something he couldn’t
fight for her.
***** Sansa's Strength, Sandor's Lullaby *****
Chapter 19
Sansa’s Strength, Sandor’s Lullaby
The pain that gripped her was intense and seemed to get worse with each passing
moment. Was it supposed to be like this? Was there something wrong with her or
the baby? She tried to keep calm, if not for her own sake then for Sandor’s who
seemed to be panicking enough for the both of them.
She looked over at her husband’s frantic gaze again and tried to give him a
reassuring smile. “It’s okay, I’m okay. Women have babies everyday right?” She
said as she grabbed hold of his damp hand and gave it a firm squeeze.
“Everything’s going to be okay.” If she said it enough maybe she’d start to
believe it.
Another pain hit her making her muscles tense and her breathing come in short
erratic gasps as all thought was wiped from her mind. As soon as it eased her
thoughts returned to doubt. It was too soon for this baby to come, by her
calculations at least by six weeks!
She knew babies could be born perfectly healthy this early as her little
brother Rickon had been born five weeks early completely healthy and happy but
she also knew there was an increased chance of complications. She knew of her
cousin Robin Arryn and what a sickly boy he was to this day and he had come
early. She didn’t know by how much and she didn’t know if his early birth was
the cause for what ailed him. What if her baby was sick or even worse died? The
thought brought on a fresh wave of panic and she tried to shake it away.
Panicking wouldn’t help the situation or her baby. She had to stay strong now
for everyone’s sake.
She looked over at Sin who was still lying on the bed next to her. He hadn’t
moved much since yesterday but his breathing seemed to be getting back to
normal and she took comfort in the fact that he was getting better not worse.
She let her fingers run through his soft fur and tried to keep her mind off of
her worries, at least for a moment.
“Little bird, what can I do? What can I get you?” Sandor’s shaky voice broke
into her thoughts and she looked up to her husband who was usually the calm one
and realized for the first time she’d have to be the calm one and the strong
one.
“Go gather both pails of water. We’ll heat one and keep the other cool. Have a
towel and a blanket at the ready. You’ll need to cut the umbilical cord so you
need to sterilize you’re best knife and sterilize a string to tie it off before
you cut it. We may need a sterile needle and thread if I tear.” It didn’t pass
her notice how pale he became after that but he needed to be prepared for
whatever happened. Childbirth while beautiful was also painful and messy. “Have
the basin clean with fresh water and soap to clean me and the baby when it’s
time.”
Sansa was grateful for her knowledge in this. She’d been there for both Bran
and Rickon’s births though she remembered little of Bran’s she was older for
Rickon’s and still remembered nearly every detail of the experience.
She tried to think of anything else they would need at the ready when the baby
decided to make his or her appearance but couldn’t think of anything. When she
didn’t continue with her list Sandor rushed to do what she bid.
When everything was set and at the ready Sandor came to sit beside her on the
bed. “How are you little bird? Are you still in pain?”
“Yes, but I’m managing. It helps to keep my mind off of it so could you bring
me my needlework?”
“Sure, anything you want.” As he handed her the needles, threads and fabric
she’d been working on she grabbed hold of his hand.
“Thank you Sandor. Can I ask one more thing of you?”
“Anything little bird, you know that.”
“Will you please go and finish the crib, this little one’s going to need it.”
“I can’t leave you, the baby’s coming.”
“You’re not leaving me you’ll be right outside and able to hear me if I call
for you and it could be hours before he or she decides to make an appearance.
I’d feel so much better if the crib was done when the baby gets here. Please.”
In truth she just wanted something to occupy Sandor as he seemed to be about
ready to come out of his own skin with nerves and she figured this might keep
his mind occupied. The other reason being she didn’t want him looking over her
shoulder every time she tensed up or let out a whimper of pain. She knew how
much her being in pain affected him and she wished to spare him as much as
possible.
“Alright little bird, I’ll finish the crib, it’s almost ready anyway. If it
hadn’t been for the attack yesterday it would probably already be done but you
promise me you’ll yell for me if you need anything and I do mean anything.”
“I promise. Now go and finish that crib while I make the padding for it. Our
little one’s going to need their very own bed.” The second Sandor was out of
the cave and she heard him working on the crib outside she let out a sigh of
relief before turning to her needlework. She worked quickly when her cramping
eased and set it down when she felt one coming on to focus on her breathing and
to message her sorest area which was her lower back during the thick of it.
A few hours later she was almost done with her work and only needed to add the
stuffing before closing it up. She’d worked up a sweat by that time and was
getting quite tired. The pain seemed to be one continuous cramp after the other
with very little time between. The cut on her head was stinging and she was
dying of thirst and decided instead of disrupting Sandor maybe getting up and
walking around a bit might help ease some of her aching muscles.
She had just crawled out of bed and was halfway to the kitchen in search of a
glass when she felt liquid rush down her legs and onto the floor. At first she
was afraid to look scared that it might be blood she would find but when she
looked down and saw only a clear puddle at her feet she though she may have
lost control of her bladder but then she remembered women who were in the later
stages of labor had what the maester referred to as their water breaking and
breathed a sigh of relief that her body was doing what it was supposed to be
doing.
She was mopping up the puddle with her feet and a rag when Sandor came in
carrying the finest crib she’d ever seen. “What are you doing up little bird?”
He said and set down the crib rushing to her side. “Are you alright? Please
tell me you’re not cleaning at a time like this?”
Instead of answering his questions she found herself bursting into tears.
“Sandor it’s beautiful!” She exclaimed and tried to walk closer to the crib
only to come up against the rock solid wall that was her husband.
“Fuck the crib! What in the seven hells are you doing out of bed? Are you
alright? Is the baby alright? I told you to call for me if you needed anything
damn it.” He said and led her back to the side of the bed.
“Sandor wait, before I get back into bed I think we should lay down some
coverings so I don’t make a mess of our bedding. That old blanket and a towel
overtop it should work okay.” She waited by the bed as her husband rushed to
gather them and spread them overtop there bedding before helping her crawl back
into bed.
“I think I’m getting close love, my water just broke.”
“Your what broke? Are you okay?” She’d never heard the kind of panic that
seemed to be edging its way into her husbands voice before.
“Yes, I’m fine. My body is doing everything it’s supposed to be doing.” She
said trying to reassure him. “I got up for some water but I never made it,
would you please bring me a glass?” When he brought her a large glass of fresh,
icy lake water she found that sipping the cool liquid helped ease her and water
had never tasted sweeter to her before. She was thirstier then she thought as
the glass was quickly emptied and Sandor brought her a second one soon after.
She was just settling down again when a wave of pain hit her so hard she had to
bite down on her lip to keep from crying out. It was only a few minutes after
that when she suddenly had the overwhelming urge to push. “Sandor I think it’s
time!” She said already feeling exhausted and out of breath before her work had
even started.
*
“Sandor I think it’s time!” Had anything ever sounded more terrifying then
those words before? If it had he sure as hell didn’t remember it. He was
shaking in his boots both literally and metaphorically but she needed him damn
it. He had to get himself together for her and for the babe.
“Alright little bird. Tell me what to do.” He said getting up from his place on
the bed beside her to kneel between her bent legs.
“I’m going to start pushing, you need to keep watch and tell me when you start
to see the baby. It should be the head that comes first and if it isn’t you
need to tell me right away.”
“Alright.” He said swallowing hard at the thought that there could be
complications. He was no maester damn it and if something happened to either
her or the babe he’d never forgive himself for having her so far from help when
she was this pregnant.
An hour and many pushes later he was sweating as much as his wife was but he
finally saw their baby’s head emerging. He breathed a small sigh of relief that
it was the head and not feet he was seeing. “I see it Sansa, our baby’s almost
here. You’re doing so great!” He said giving her knee a slight squeeze of
reassurance.
“Is it the head?” Came her breathless question.
“Aye. Everything’s the way it should be.” Only a few pushes later the baby’s
head and tiny shoulders were out enough for him to grab hold of the little body
and pull it the rest of the way out. The second it was all the way out of the
warmth of Sansa the little guy let out a loud piercing cry. It was a boy. He
had a son. He looked up to meet his wife’s watery gaze and smiled before
telling her they had a little boy.
“Is he okay?” She asked trying to look him over as best she could. He would’ve
handed her the squirming little guy so she could see for herself but he was
attached from a weird cord leading from his belly button into his mama and then
he remembered what Sansa said about there being a cord he’d need to cut.
“Seems to be, let me look him over and get him cleaned up.” He grabbed the
clean towel that he had at the ready and wiped the baby down as best he could.
He allowed himself to really look over his son for the first time. He seemed
much smaller then any baby he’d ever seen but he’d never seen a baby fresh out
of their mama before so he figured he must be normal.
He seemed healthy and pink and he already knew he had a good set of lungs on
him as he cried the entire time he was being wiped down. He hadn’t opened his
little eyes yet but he had a fairly thick thatch of black hair. He had no teeth
all he could see was pink gums when he was crying. Other then that, there was
ten finger and ten toes. And though he’d never seen a baby’s private area all
the equipment was there and where it was supposed to be and as he was finishing
cleaning him up he started pissing in the air and onto himself. He quickly took
the towel and covered the stream and despite himself he laughed out loud.
“Seems everything’s in working order little bird.” He said still chuckling.
“Let me see.” Sansa exclaimed holding out her arms for the babe.
“I have to cut the cord first little bird, tell me how.”
“Okay first you have to tie two strings tightly to it a few inches apart and
then make the cut in between the two strings.” He laid the babe down on his lap
before doing what she said. The cord was a bit tougher to get through then he
expected but his knife was sharp and soon mother and son were no longer
attached. He wrapped the little guy tightly in a blanket bundling him up before
he picked the slight weight up and handed him into his mama’s waiting arms.
“Oh Sandor, he’s beautiful.” She said, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I
think I know what to name him.”
“Oh yeah, what’s that?”
“Well given what happened yesterday I was thinking Steel.”
“Steel?” He asked liking the name but not sure how it connected to yesterday.
“Well he’s already survived a steel blade. He’s strong and he deserves a strong
name.”
“Aye, I think you may be right. The name’s perfect.” He said and looked down on
his wife and son wondering for the millionth time how in the hell he got so
damn lucky.
She was holding one of the babe’s tiny hands counting his fingers for herself
when he noticed her tensing up again. “Little bird?” He questioned not liking
that she was still in pain.
“It’s okay. I have to deliver the placenta now.” She said calmly handing the
baby back to him.
“The whata?” Once again panic seized hold of him. He thought this was over.
“It’s alright. From what I remember this is the easy part.”
An hour later the placenta had been delivered, both mother and baby were washed
and wrapped up together in a clean blanket. Steel’s mama had already fed him
and they were now both soundly asleep. Sandor had just finished washing the
towels and blanket that had gotten dirty and hung them by the fire to dry.
Their early dinner had just started simmering on the fire and he felt like he
was breathing for the first time in a day when he was finally able to climb
into bed and sit in the now silent and peaceful cave with his family.
So much had happened in the last day and he felt like he was still trying to
process everything. He still needed to go out to the lake where he’d left the
body of the man that attacked Sansa. He needed to dispose of it and look around
to make sure he’d been alone but the thought of leaving her even for a little
while right now seemed wrong and he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He had just laid his head back and closed his eyes hoping to get a quick nap in
when he heard the baby fussing. He picked the little thing up from Sansa’s
chest hoping she wouldn’t wake, she needed her rest after the day she’d had.
“Hey there buddy.” He whispered down at the squirming bundle in his arms. At
the sound of his voice the little guy squinted his eyes open and as he looked
into the depths of his Tully blue eyes so much like his mother’s he couldn’t
help but think back to the day he’d found out he was going to be a father.
His earlier fear of this baby some how being evil because of Clegane blood
running through it’s veins seemed ridiculous as he saw the purity and innocence
of the life he held in his large hands. He had his father’s black hair and his
sweet mothers blue eyes and between them both they would raise this little one
to be a good man.
He would teach him to fight. He would need to be able to defend himself and
protect his mama if the time ever came when he was no longer around. He would
also teach him to love and be loved because it was the greatest gift one could
ever give or receive. Sansa had taught him that and he wanted to pass the
lesson on to his son.
As Steel started to fuss Sandor pulled him up to his chest and rocked him back
and forth humming a song from his childhood. He couldn’t remember the words but
he remembered the melody and that’s all he needed this time. Maybe Sansa could
teach him some songs to sing when she awoke he thought to himself as he hummed
his little boy back to sleep.
*
That’s how Sansa woke, to find her baby in her husband’s strong capable arms,
him humming an old lullaby as he rocked little Steel back and forth and she
knew, as her heart swelled to near bursting with joy, her life and world were
complete and life couldn’t possibly get any sweeter.
***** Winter, Spring, Summer, Life *****
Chapter Notes
See the end of the chapter for notes
Chapter 20
Winter, Spring, Summer, Life
Winter came and went. Years went by. Steel was two years old when Sansa found
herself pregnant again. She was overjoyed at the news and unlike the first
time, so was Sandor. Eight months later she gave birth to not one but two baby
boys. Sawyer was the first out and like Steel he came into the world screaming
to high heaven at his unhappiness of leaving his mama’s warmth and to the
couples utter shock about ten minutes later instead of delivering to the
placenta Sansa gave birth to another baby boy they named Spencer.
He gave his parents a scare because unlike his two brothers he wasn’t
screaming, in fact he wasn’t even breathing. The cord had wrapped itself around
his little neck and Sandor sprang into action unwrapping it and working to get
him breathing, using his fingers to press lightly down on his chest and
breathing into his mouth. He let out a gasping breath before Sandor turned him
face down on his large forearm and rubbed his tiny back getting him screaming
louder then either of his brothers before him had.
So there they were in the dead of winter with three little boys filling their
small cave near to bursting. It was at this time Sandor decided they needed
more room and decided to make a solar.
Using his stone carving tools he dug out a small cavern to the left of the
fireplace a few feet off the ground building three steps up to it. It wasn’t a
spacious room but there was just enough space for three single beds for all
three of their boys and one small chest of drawers for their clothes that Sansa
had mended for them over the years as they grew.
When the boys got a bit older Sandor erected poles by their large bed and a
curtain across it giving the couple a little privacy much like he did for the
tub so long ago.
Steel was seven years old and the twins were five when spring finally arrived.
The snow was slow to melt but when it did and the flowers started blooming and
the trees started budding they decided it was time for them to finally move on
from the cave.
They didn’t go far though, they both wanted to stay in the area by the lake.
This was their home after all. They felt safe here and so with Tripp and
Caine’s help Sandor started building a large log cabin on the west side of the
lake.
By the time is was done it was two stories, the first story had a large living
space with seating for the whole family, a kitchen and dining space with a big
round table for all of them to eat at. The second floor had three bedrooms, a
large one for her and Sandor to share, one for their boys and one for their
brand new baby girl Sharlet as well as a large bathing room for the whole
family. The cabin had four large fireplaces two on opposite ends of each floor,
insuring plenty of warmth for the next time winter decided to make an
appearance.
Sansa planted a garden in the back and they enjoyed almost an endless supply of
fruits and vegetables during the long warm summer days.
It was in the middle of what turned out to be a five-year summer that Sansa had
their fifth and final child, another girl they named Sidney. It was around this
time that they lost Sadie to old age. She passed quietly in her sleep and Sansa
cried for days on end at the loss. She had been the best of companions and a
true friend to her and she missed her everyday after her passing. They still
had her four pups that were no longer pups at all and stayed close to home
helping to watch out for and protect the Clegane family.
Sin had made a full recovery from the fateful attack all those years ago and
though he’d been the runt of the litter when he’d been born he grew to be the
largest and fiercest of all the dogs. He’d also taken a liking to Steel and the
two had been inseparable nearly from the beginning.
Sandor spent long hours nearly every day with their three sons teaching them
how to fight, both with there fists and with swords. He told them they needed
to know how to defend themselves, protect their family and fight for what they
believe in.
Sansa taught her daughters how to take care of the men in their lives including
the importance of knowing skills like cooking, needlework and sewing. She
taught all her children to read and write and it was at this time she found out
Sandor had never learned.
He’d been embarrassed to admit that at his age he’d had never read a thing in
his life, so late at night when they were in the privacy of their own room she
taught him. He was a quick learner and she found herself just as proud of him
when he read his first sentence, as she was when her children accomplished the
same goal.
When Steel was old enough to watch after his siblings Sansa and Sandor would
find time to sneak away and go back to their cave for a quick getaway. It held
a special place in both their hearts and they never grew tired of spending time
alone together there.
They were living a full life and were blessed beyond measure. A war was being
fought around them but they didn’t need or want the rest of Westeros, they only
needed each other.
They took the peace and love they’d found and made no apologies for turning
their backs on the rest.
Chapter End Notes
     I just wanted to take a moment to thank all those that read this
     story and kept coming back for updates. Thanks for everyone who took
     the time to leave kudos and comments. This was my first fanfiction
     and I was so nervous to post my work for others to read and it was
     because of all of you that this was such a positive experience for me
     and I’m sure I’ll be posting more stories in the near future.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
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